For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
We have not fit men for the times. - John Adams
Hope is the dream of the waking man. - French Proverb
I set off, off to kill the man I love. - Richelle Mead
The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams
A man had better wear out than rust out. - Richard Cumberland
Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau
It is difficulties that show what men are. - William Hazlitt
Trustworthy: What you call a handcuffed man - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan
Men are more mindful of wrongs than of benefits. - Proverb
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary
Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Every man desires to live long, but no man would be old. - Jonathan Swift
After a certain age every man is responsible for his face. - Albert Camus
That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker
Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi
On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken
Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel
Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist 'Jack.' - H L Mencken
A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned. - Arabian Proverb
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead
No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner
No man is so wise that he knows everything, nor is any man so stupid he knows nothing. - Amish Saying
A skillful man reads his dreams for self-knowledge, yet not the details but the quality. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham
When neither their property nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content. - Niccolo Machiavelli
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
To make us feel small in the right way is a function of art; men can only make us feel small in the wrong way. - E M Forster
It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it. - Albert Einstein
I really believe that more harm is done by old men who cling to their influence than by young men who anticipate it. - Owen D. Young
Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism, or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. - Martin Luther King Jr
God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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19-May-2022 |