Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

Every man over 40 is a scoundrel. - George Bernard Shaw

A mass of men equals a mass of opinions. - Latin Proverb

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will. - Spanish Proverb

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop

Man discovers truth by reason only, not by faith. - Tolstoy

The older a man grows the faster he could run as a boy. - Red Smith

Everyone wishes that the man whom he fears would perish. - Ovid

With his work, as with a glove, a man feels the universe. - Tomas Transtromer

Man is only half himself, the other half is his expression. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

After a rich man gets rich, his next ambition is to get richer. - American Proverb

A man's worth is no greater than the worth of his ambitions. - Marcus Aurelius

No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. - Elbert Hubbard

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Nowadays the clinical history too often weighs more than the man. - Martin H. Fischer

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. - Mark Twain

Anything that man says, you've got to take with a dose of salts. - Samuel Goldwyn

Nothing is more gratifying to the mind of man than power or dominion. - Joseph Addison

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

Perfection is my motto. Percentage is my middle name. Walk alone and wait for no man. - Unknown

Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He is a man of sense who does not grieve for what he has not, but rejoices in what he has. - Epictetus

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Being scared can keep a man from getting killed, and often makes a better fighter out of him. - Louis L'Amour

It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities. - Eric Hoffer

Man is more interesting than men. God made him and not them in his image. Each one is more precious than all. - Andre Gide

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever. - Clarence Darrow

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I know of no other man in our time, or indeed in recent history, who so convincingly demonstrated the power of the spirit over material things. - Stafford Cripps

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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02-Mar-2021