Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Conscience is God present in man. - Victor Hugo

We have not fit men for the times. - John Adams

Hope is the dream of the waking man. - French Proverb

I set off, off to kill the man I love. - Richelle Mead

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

A man had better wear out than rust out. - Richard Cumberland

Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau

It is difficulties that show what men are. - William Hazlitt

Trustworthy: What you call a handcuffed man - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Men are more mindful of wrongs than of benefits. - Proverb

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every man desires to live long, but no man would be old. - Jonathan Swift

After a certain age every man is responsible for his face. - Albert Camus

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist 'Jack.' - H L Mencken

A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned. - Arabian Proverb

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner

No man is so wise that he knows everything, nor is any man so stupid he knows nothing. - Amish Saying

A skillful man reads his dreams for self-knowledge, yet not the details but the quality. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

When neither their property nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

To make us feel small in the right way is a function of art; men can only make us feel small in the wrong way. - E M Forster

It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it. - Albert Einstein

I really believe that more harm is done by old men who cling to their influence than by young men who anticipate it. - Owen D. Young

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism, or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. - Martin Luther King Jr

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party
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19-May-2022