For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
The man with no imagination has no wings. - Muhammad Ali
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham
Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him. - Robert Byrne
No man can think clearly when his fists are clinched. - G.J. Nathan
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. - Oscar Wilde
A man is not old until his regrets take the place of dreams. - Yiddish proverb
The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx
Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. - Kin Hubbard
Man is a complex being: He makes deserts bloom - and lakes die. - Gil Stern
The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. - Chinese Proverb
Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing
Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower
The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
When a man is wrapped up in himself he makes a pretty small package. - John Ruskin
A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Max Lucado
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman
A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. - Charles Schwab
A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be. - Carol Coats
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
A man who finds no satisfaction in himself will seek for it in vain elsewhere. - La Rochefoucauld
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock
On earth there is nothing great but man; in man there is nothing great but mind. - Sir William Hamilton
I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God. - Abraham Lincoln
The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg
I've made a lot of grown men cry with laughter because I really am quite the joke. - Peta Wilson
I believe in trusting men, not only once but twice - in giving a failure another change. - James C Penney
A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame someone else. - John Burroughs
There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville
At 20 a man thinks he can save the world. At 40 he's lucky if he can save part of his salary. - Unknown
Not when truth is dirty, but when it is shallow, does the enlightened man dislike to wade into its waters. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash
Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan
Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss
The divinity that shapes our ends is in ourselves... all that a man achieves or fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts. - James Allen
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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24-Oct-2021 |