For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
A man of courage is also full of faith. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams
Like that of leaves is a generation of men. - Homer
Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. - Woody Allen
Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. - Baltasar Gracian
Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman
Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it. - George R.R. Martin
Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown
It is not opposition but indifference which separates men. - Mary Parker Follett
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Most men look to what is right for them. Few search for the truth. - Unknown
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West
Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown
Man either goes forward in imagination or remains imprisoned in his senses. - Unknown
No man can be a pure specialist without being in the strict sense an idiot. - George Bernard Shaw
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke
Most of the evils of life arise from man's inability to sit still in a room. - Blaise Pascal
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck
When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli
Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. - C S Lewis
The superiority of some men is merely local - they are great because their associates are little. - Unknown
Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay
My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller
In this age, the man who dares to think for himself and to act independently does a service to his race. - John Stuart Mill
Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell
A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it. - W D Howells
If this world is going to be reached, I am convinced that it must be done by men and women of average talent. - Dwight L. Moody
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein
The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome
Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours. - Milton Berle
Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca
To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I know of no other man in our time, or indeed in recent history, who so convincingly demonstrated the power of the spirit over material things. - Stafford Cripps
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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02-Aug-2021 |