Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
A man's deeds are his life. - African Saying

Hope is the dream of the waking man. - French Proverb

Yes, all men must die. But we are not men. - Daenerys Targaryen

Fools look to tomorrow; wise men use tonight. - Scottish Proverb

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

When a man is willing and eager, the gods join in. - Aeschylus

The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What a lot of things there are a man can do without. - Socrates

The superior man is distressed by his want of ability. - Confucius

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him. - Booker T. Washington

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

The wisest man is generally he who thinks himself the least so. - Nicolas Baileau

A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. - Latin Proverb

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Nowadays the clinical history too often weighs more than the man. - Martin H. Fischer

The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. - Elbert Hubbard

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes. - Samuel Beckett

It's not the oath that makes us believe the man, but the man who says the oath. - Aeschylus

To be feared of a thing and yet to do it, is what makes the prettiest kind of a man. - Robert Louis Stevenson

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

I don't like work - no man does - but I like what is in the work - the chance to find yourself. - Joseph Conrad

A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato - the best part of him is underground. - Henry Cooper

Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. - Henry David Thoreau

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

Everything that enlarges the sphere of human powers, that shows man he can do what he thought he could not do, is valuable. - Samuel Johnson

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Flight of the Ladybug

Time To Retire

Chess On The Wall

Tree Face

Bad Day Flyer

Back Bard

St. Peter's Fish

Feed Me

Horse Model

Get In Line!

Coffee World

Horsing Around

Think Big

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

09-Dec-2019