For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin
Lando's not a system he's a man! - Han Solo
Men who never get carried away should be. - Malcolm Forbes
I'm man enough to know when to scream. - Obert Skye
To the man who is afraid everything rustles. - Sophocles
Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown
Do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man. - Iain D Smith
Adversity causes some men to break, others to break records. - William A. Ward
It is not titles that honour men, but men that honour titles. - Niccolo Machiavelli
An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West
Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing. - Albert Laighton
The man who wakes up and finds himself famous hasn't been asleep. - Unknown
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain
The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least. - Unknown
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. - Kin Hubbard
The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. - William Shakespeare
I just invent, then wait until man comes around to needing what I've invented. - R Buckminster Fuller
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming
I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them. - Mae West
A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. - George Santayana
The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect. - Stephen Leacock
I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding
The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature, but plunges him more deeply into them. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl
To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch
There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. - Mark Twain
I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell
The greatness of a man is not how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. - Bob Marley
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Water Taxi |  SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised |  Bach To Front |  Japanese Diving Platform |  Radar Replacement |
 Customers Wanted |  How To Burn Fat |  Cuban Cuisine |  FishSun - Touching The Sun |  Trampoline Apartment |
 Slamming On Your Brakes |  UFO Caught On Tape |  His Dent |  Attentive Student |  The Great Depression |
 Divorce Defined |  Paint Ladder |  Spanish Restrooms |  First Computer Cursor |  Arsenic Wafers |
14-Aug-2020 |