For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
Adversity makes men think of God. - Livy
Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle
The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb
Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr
Men who never get carried away should be. - Malcolm Forbes
What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams
A man who stands up for his rights, when it pays. - Gerald Barzan
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground. - African Proverb
The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston
Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde
The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb
Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable. - Cher
I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. - Winston Churchill
You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry. - Abraham Lincoln
Once at least in his life each man walks with Christ to Emmaus. - Oscar Wilde
Poetry is the statement of a relation between a man and the world. - Wallace Stevens
You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan
My best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read. - Abraham Lincoln
Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong
The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist 'Jack.' - H L Mencken
It's not the oath that makes us believe the man, but the man who says the oath. - Aeschylus
Every man is capable of performing something unique; that which he alone can perfect. - Unknown
The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. - Montaigne
Great men undertake great things because they are great; fools, because they think them easy. - Vauvenargues
Bogart could have been color blind. He got to know a man before he decided if he liked him or not. - Sammy Davis, Jr.
Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken
The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal
The best portion of a good man's life are the little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. - William Wordsworth
A man never spoke ill of his captain, pirate or no, unless he was prepared to back his words with the might of the crew. - Matt Tomerlin
There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives his life by the unfolding of his powers, by living productively. - Erich Fromm
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld
I like to have nice conversations with a man that teach me something, make me mad, make me curious. Then I find him attractive. - Renee Zellweger
A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation. - Moliere
God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Wedding Pound Cake |  Parking Justice |  Is This Really Happening?! |  The Explanation |  High Strung Violinist |
 Deodorized Pads |  Leteracy Night |  Redneck Baby Carriage |  Stealth Readers |  Good Stuff Or Else |
 Productive Computers |  Poodle Power |  Trust Issues |  Bacon Soda Sales |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |
 My Time |  Lerts |  Great White Socks |  That's Not A Bagpipe! |  Paint Protection |
15-May-2021 |