For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
No man is rich enough to buy back his past. - Oscar Wilde
The measure of a man is what he does with power. - Pittacus
The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere
If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. - Francis Bacon
He who does not travel does not know the value of men. - Moorish Proverb
Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin
You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore
Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
A conservative is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits. - Woodrow Wilson
Man is a complex being: He makes deserts bloom - and lakes die. - Gil Stern
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
Heresies are experiments in man's unsatisfied search for truth. - H G Wells
On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken
A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning
A man that is young in years may be old in hours, if he has lost no time. - Francis Bacon
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare
Hope springs eternal in the human breast. Man never is, but always to be blest. - Alexander Pope
Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau
You can see the true heart of a man when you're out in the woods with a weapon. - Jase Robertson
Man's chief enemy is his own unruly nature and the dark forces pent up within him. - Ernst Jones
We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson
Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
Not when truth is dirty, but when it is shallow, does the enlightened man dislike to wade into its waters. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln
It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald
It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way; an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way. - Charles Bukowski
Every man, as to character, is the creature of the age in which he lives. Very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of their times. - Voltaire
You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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25-Nov-2020 |