For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation. - James Thurber
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. - Aristotle
Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop
Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce
Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. - French Proverb
A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown
Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher
They are happy men whose natures sort with their vocations. - Francis Bacon
He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces. - Mae West
Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. - Robert G Ingersoll
If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown
The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers. - Marshall McLuhan
You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy. - WC Fields
Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter
I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. - Bible
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. - Henry David Thoreau
To be feared of a thing and yet to do it, is what makes the prettiest kind of a man. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain
She needed the chaos within her in order to discover the extraordinary no man could ever reach. - Robert M. Drake
In other men, taste for slaughter sometimes loses its force. In Constantius it became more violent. - Ammianus Marcellinus
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain
A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist. - Edgar W Howe
I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell
Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken
Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
The purpose of architecture is to shelter and enhance man's life on earth and to fulfill his belief in the nobility of his existence. - Eero Saarinen
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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26-Jan-2020 |