Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. - Rita Mae Brown A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb A person's fears are lighter when the danger is at hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf There are eighty-eight keys on a piano and within that, an entire universe. - James Rhodes Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others. - Unknown The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly Piano playing is more difficult than statesmanship. It is harder to awake emotions in ivory keys than it is in human beings. - Ignace Jan Paderewski You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self. - Marian Sandmaier My candle burns at both ends, It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends - It gives a lovely light! - Edna St Vincent Millay Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. - Buddha see also Christmas Section Christmas Fireplace Tip Forget The Present Heathen’s Greetings Merry House Office Party Grinch Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Save Santa The Trip Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Walking In A Doggie Wonderland |
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