How To Lose Weight for the New Year

Beware the bathroom scale

John and Connie, after their 4th Christmas turkey dinner of the Holiday Season, made the same New Year’s Resolution - that they would both lose weight in 2017.

The next day, John went into the bathroom and went on the weight scale. While on the scale, he took a deep breath and sucked in his gut.

Connie looked over at John and said, “I hardly think that sucking in your gut will help you lose any weight!”

John answered, “Yes, it does help - it’s the only way that I can see the numbers on the scale.”



QuotaBills
The dieting wars have got to stop. - Lady Gaga

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

The heart, like the stomach, wants a varied diet. - Gustave Flaubert

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

When I go I'll take New Year's Eve with me. - Guy Lombardo

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. - Unknown

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. - Unknown

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. - Dave Beard

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega

New Year's Day ... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain


see also   Diet  &  New Years  Sections

 

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-Oct-2020