Gynecologist Exam

Repeating yourself in front of a patient


Martha went to her new gynecologist for her first exam.

The doctor got her in the stirrups and spread her legs. Then the doctor said, “Oh My God!!! In all of my career, I have never seen such a huge vagina! … huge vagina!”

She said, “Doctor, I know it and I’m very self-conscious about it. You didn’t have to repeat yourself.”

The doctor replied, “I didn’t. It was an echo!”


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Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

I'm not a Gynecologist but I'll take a look. - Unknown

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Ignorance is not so damnable as humbug, but when it prescribes pills it may happen to do more harm. - George Eilot

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

I blinked and I cured my brain. That's how. Everybody has the power. Can't is the cancer of happen. - Charlie Sheen

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise


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24-Jan-2022