Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

I'm an early-morning owl. - Patrick Wilson

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Early Rising: Triumph of mind over mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

No man goes before his time ... unless the boss leaves early. - Groucho Marx

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour. - John Ciardi

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. - Blaise Pascal

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one. - Voltaire

May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Success is, during this early pilgrimage, to leave the woodpile a little higher than I found it. - Paul Harvey

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood. - Martin Luther King Jr.

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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09-Dec-2021