Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. - J Paul Getty

Sudafed: Brought litigation against a government official - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

The trouble with dawn is that it comes too early in the day. - Susan Richman

Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures early in life. - Thomas Henry Huxley

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In later years, you fight because you do. - Joan Didion

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier. - Bette Midler

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Strapless Gown: 1. When a woman won't shoulder the responsibility; 2. A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs


see also   Christmas,  Lawyer,  Prison  &  Shopping  Sections

 

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23-Jul-2021