Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson

You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. - Groucho Marx

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

The ablest lawyers are always associated with the biggest fees. - Clarence Darrow

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Lawyers are a bad lot... They cheat their living out of honest people. - Albert R Carman

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown

Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Supporting myself at an early age was the best training for life I could have possibly received. - Lea Thompson

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

You find out what you are made of when you have a broken heart. If it happens early and often, all the better. - Isabel Gillies

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

When the monetary damages are smaller, lawyers will find themselves less zealous in their pursuit of what they call justice. - Dean O'Hare

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you're doing. - Jim Gaffigan

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille


see also   Christmas,  Lawyer,  Prison  &  Shopping  Sections

 

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28-Sep-2020