Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

The ablest lawyers are always associated with the biggest fees. - Clarence Darrow

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour. - John Ciardi

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Lawyers are a bad lot... They cheat their living out of honest people. - Albert R Carman

Lawyers are men who will swear black is white, if they are paid for it. - Edward Counsel

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I learned at an early age that if you are nice to men, you can get anything you want from them. - Natalie Wood

Success is, during this early pilgrimage, to leave the woodpile a little higher than I found it. - Paul Harvey

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow. - Mark Twain

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you're doing. - Jim Gaffigan

Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott


see also   Christmas,  Lawyer,  Prison  &  Shopping  Sections

 

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23-Jan-2021