‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips Diet Planner: A fast talker. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso see also Christmas & Diet Sections Aussie Night Before Christmas Aviator’s Night Before Christmas Biker’s Night Before Christmas Bronx Night Before Christmas Contract Spec Writer’s Night Before Christmas Genealogist’s Night Before Christmas Ghetto Night Before Christmas Hanukkah Night Before Christmas Italian Night Before Christmas Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas Legal Speak Night Before Christmas Networkologist’s Night Before Christmas Politically Correct Night Before Christmas Redneck Night Before Christmas Scientist’s Night Before Christmas Spanish Night Before Christmas Star Trek ‘Next Generation’ Night Before Christmas Star Wars Christmas Texas Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the Internet Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas |
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