From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, what makes
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How does one achieve 103%? What makes up 103% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
K N O W L E D G E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
H A R D W O R K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
A. Present Management Style –
From the attached spreadsheet, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty
- Least effective present style: Leading (52%) is the least successful, while
Coaching (60%), Managing (66%), and Helping (71%) won’t help improve your
management style at all…
- Quasi effective present style: Delegating (84%), Training (92%), Knowledge
(96%) & Hard Work (98%) will come close to what the boss expects…
- Voila! Attitude is the only present style that “breaks even” – where you can
tell the boss that you’ve actually given 100% at work that day – two atta’boys
will be waiting for you!
- But to really over-achieve, like what is expected of you on a daily basis, you
have to be: Supportive (155% - i.e. supporting a shared work environment; free
employee carpooling; 2-year maternity leave for Dads and Moms), Promoting (127%
- as in, promoting ALL of your employees with big fat raises), Mentoring (115% -
sorry gals, this is really supposed to be work percs for “Men”) & Encouraging
(114% - encouraging everyone to retire at age 35 with full pension benefits).
B. Best Management Style –
From the much more relative spreadsheet of 31 modern styles (used in the present
day workplace), one can then conclude with mathematical significance the
- Least effective style to use: Weaseling (95%) has the lowest ranking – don’t
be a work weasel…; Wavering (99%) is not a good management style (to improve
this – let your employees waver more!); Although Bullshit (103%) looks good to
upper management – and is above the 100% ‘call of duty’, it’s still on the low
end of the best styles to use; Flogging The Dog (103%), Passing Gas (112%),
Badmouthing (114%), Taking The Day Off (119%) & Herassment (121%) may look good
(only because they’re > 100%), but they are still lower than what you can really
- Medium Effectiveness: Passing The Buck (122%), Criticizing (127%),
Plagiarizing (129%), Womanizing (131%), Leading Astray (136%), Long Coffee
Breaks (139%), Brown Nosing (150%), Butt Kissing (151%) & Blaimstorming (152%)
will get you a lot further than management styles used by older generations…
- For best over-achievement – high above previous generation averages, and well
above all of your manager’s expectations - try the following: Venting
Frustration (252% - blow up in front of your employees – let em’ think you’re
really insecure and they’ll stay out of your way – and get theirs and your work
done for you!); Political Correctness (236% - nothing beats trying to be
politically correct in today’s office environment); Withholding Services (229% -
be just like George Costanza – do the opposite of what’s expected – and you’ll
rise above all the other losers!); Sucking Up To Boss (211% - this is still a
good tried and true method used by most middle managers); and Winning Lottery
(205% - let’s just cut to the chase: what would any of you do if you won the
next $25 Million Lotto 649!); Screwing The Moose (198% - a favourite expression
of the Joe-kster, with great potential… please don’t try real Canadian moose
though, only Get Stuffed animals will do…); Flogging Employees (192%), Finger
Pointing (188%) & Procrastinating (184) will go a long way in today’s office
C. Tomorrow’s Better Management Style –
Aside from all of the above diatribe, nothing can beat the “Manager Of Tomorrow”
as per the above spreadsheet: liven up a bit at work, and try Submitting Unique
Joe-ks to your employees – and you’ll achieve at least a 289% improvement in
your present management style!
“2 Pens” Award Program
Always Give 100% At Work
Employee’s Raisin Pay Bonus Program
George Costanza’s Tips For Working Hard
2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars
New 50 Pence Coin
Redneck Chair Repair
Bus Head Rest
How Big Was It?
Happy Australia Day!
Starting Your Fireplace On The Roof
Spot the Thief