The Recession

Leading economic indicators in today’s economy


My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ounce.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s name.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


QuotaBills
Nobody ever lost money taking a profit. - Bernard Baruch

Virtue has never as respectable as money. - Mark Twain

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

I can live without money, but I cannot live without love. - Judy Garland

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D Rockefeller

One dollar for eternal happiness? I'd be happier with the dollar. - Charles Montgomery Burns

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

There is a certain Buddhistic calm that comes from having money in the bank. - Tom Robbins

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow to do it. - Artemus Ward

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. - Suze Orman

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. - Harry S Truman

The man who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him. - Voltaire

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

The attention economy is not growing, which means we have to grab the attention that someone else has today. - Brent Leary

Success isn't measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. - Mike Ditka

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. - Woody Allen

Money doesn't change men, it merely unmasks them. If a man is naturally selfish, or arrogant, or greedy, the money brings that out. - Henry Ford

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


see also   Business,  Finance  &  Stress   Sections
Read My Lipstick
Recession Boss
Recession Cutbacks
Standard & Poor’s Downgrade

 

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10-Aug-2022