![]() In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah,who was now living in America and said, “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.” He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.” ![]() Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. “Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?” “Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.” ![]() “I needed a Building Permit.” ![]() “I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.” ![]() “My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.” ![]() “Then the local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.” ![]() “Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.” “I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!” ![]() “When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.” ![]() “Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.” ![]() “I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.” ![]() “The Immigration Dept. is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.” ![]() “The trade unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.” ![]() “To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally`with endangered species.” ![]() “So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.” ![]() “Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.” ![]() Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?” ![]() “No,” said the Lord. “The Government beat me to it.” see also Government, History, Religious & Union Sections Noah’s 2005 Ark |
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