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How Many Christians Does It Take
To Change A Lightbulb?

See if you can shed some “light”...

Charismatic:   Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal:   10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians:   None - Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic:   None - Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)

Baptists:   At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians:   3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons:   5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:   We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists:   Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene:   6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans:   None - Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish:   What is a light bulb?


see also   Amish,  Lightbulb  &  Religious   Sections

 

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20-Nov-2019