Joystick Car

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Drive slow and enjoy the scenery. Drive fast and join the scenery. - Douglas Horton

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

There's a drive in me that won't allow me to do certain things that are easy. - Johnny Depp

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Most of the competition was into bulk popcorn because of the major increases in the Drive-In Theatre Outlets. - Orville Redenbacher

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake