Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

The ablest lawyers are always associated with the biggest fees. - Clarence Darrow

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour. - Thomas Jefferson

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


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03-Aug-2020