Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard

Lawyers are guardians of the legal order. - Philip Wood

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them. - Karen M Moning

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

The denial of an objective moral law based on the compulsion to deny the existence of God results ultimately in the denial of evil itself. - Ravi Zacharias

Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga

Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


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08-Mar-2021