Headline Stories

Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard

Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

It is a secret worth knowing, that lawyers rarely go to law. - Moses Crowell

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge. - Gerald Jampolsky

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown

May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne