Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


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24-Jan-2020