Headline Stories

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

It is a secret worth knowing, that lawyers rarely go to law. - Moses Crowell

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown

Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the mainstream and dam it up. - John Naisbitt

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour. - Thomas Jefferson

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant