Headline Stories

Lawyer one-upmanship - on himself

Has your sister been a pain this week?



Attorney accidentally sues himself
What goes around comes around...


We had no idea anyone was buried there!


Civil War Planes? Where did I put those history books...


Please - if you’ve seen this man...


And you wonder why...


Don’t you hate those DOE guys who do the NEPA’s EIS on
BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests?


Only in America...


What are the odds of that?


The real reason for Government sub-prime
mortgage debt write-offs...


Winner of a local dog look-alike contest -
he does look exactly like his dog!


Just a friendly reminder...


Just when you thought it was around age 20...


When the Supreme Court has Noah idea what it’s talking about...


An artist’s conception of a football field after an electrical
transformer failure, knocking out the stadium lights...


“I wouldn’t do it again,” says the hero.
“She’s been a pain this week.”



QuotaBills
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

It is a secret worth knowing, that lawyers rarely go to law. - Moses Crowell

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown

Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the mainstream and dam it up. - John Naisbitt

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour. - Thomas Jefferson

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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21-Jan-2021