Church Sign Humour

Religion altars the mind. - Tony Follari

Every religion at its core is exclusive. - Ravi Zacharias

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

I once dieted so religiously I quit eating in Church. - Zig Ziglar

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

Laughter crosses boundaries of class and age. Humour is universal. - Jeremy Lloyd

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

The Religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth. - Carl Sandburg

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

You can always borrow a corkscrew from a member of the Protestant Episcopal Church. - Chauncey Depew

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Paine

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. - Jonathan Swift

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean. - Zach Galifianakis

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

Since I got to 80, I've started reading the Bible a lot more. It's kind of like cramming for my finals. - Vincent Watson

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren