Church Sign Humour

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

A sense of humour is the ability to laugh at one's self. - Charlie Chaplin

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison