Church Sign Humour

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

Where God has his church, the Devil will have his chapel. - Spanish Proverb

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

Democracy is also a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. - H L Mencken

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Paine

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

When you come to religion, you come to a place. When you come to Jesus Christ, you come to a person. - Ravi Zacharias

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

I you can make any leading religion of the world look like complete nonsense, you can be sure of only one thing: you haven't understood it. - Wilfred Cantwell Smith

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison