Thou Shalt Not Park Here
How to rid yourself of problem parkers

The parking lot at the Baptist Church was always full because the members of a Presbyterian Church, one block away, were always using it in spite of being requested many times not to do so.

Finally, the Baptist Church minister had bumper stickers put on all the cars in their lot saying, “I’m proud to be a Baptist”.

There were no more parking problems...


QuotaBills
Man is a god in ruins. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

God bless us every one! - Tiny Tim

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

People worry, and God smiles. - Hebrew Proverb

Praise doesn't pay the bills. - German Proverb

I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Praise the bridge that carried you over. - George Colman

Faith which does not doubt is dead faith. - Miguel de Unamuno

If God is dead then everything is justifiable. - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Conceited people never hear anything but praise. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Humankind's ladder to God is a ladder of deeds. - Sholem Asch

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

I want to know God's thoughts. The rest are details. - Albert Einstein

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. - Voltaire

Until we meet again, may God bless you as he has blessed me. - Elvis Presley

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

Praise adds nothing to beauty - makes it neither better nor worse. - Marcus Aurelius

If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory. - William Hazlitt

Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler

God's mercy and grace give me hope - for myself, and for our world. - Billy Graham

God predestines everything so that the purpose precedes the destination. - Myles Munroe

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

In the affairs of this world, men are saved not by faith, but by the want of it. - Benjamin Franklin

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. - Leo Buscaglia

The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, another bit by the head of Maradona. - Diego Maradona

A man must be orthodox upon most things or he will never have time to preach his own heresy. - G K Chesterton

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid. - Frederick W. Cropp

The resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Most people have some sort of religion, at least they know which church they're staying away from. - John Erskine

Don't poets know it better than others? God can't always be everywhere: and, so, invented mothers. - Edwin Arnold

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. - C S Lewis

When faith replaces doubt, when selfless service eliminates selfish striving, the power of God brings to pass His purposes. - Thomas S Monson

There is not greater reward in our profession than the knowledge that God has entrusted us with the physical care of his people. - Dr. Elmer Hess

What is a prayer? Prayer is sending blessing to all. Prayer is sending your compassion to all. Prayer is creating an antidote of negative thoughts. - Osho


see also   Religious  Section
Tempting Parking Spot

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
All Dogs Go To Heaven Sign Debate
An Evening Prayer
Are You Ready?
Ark Walk
Atheist Professor
Autographed Copy
Bacon Reasons
Baptised Trespassers
Barn Art
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Bible Bar
Bible Reference
Biblical Humour
Biggest Turkeys
Breakable Postal Package
Cat Hat
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Humour
Church Karma
Church on Wheels
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Communion Wafers
Confession Today
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Devil Sky
Disciple Golf Day
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Easter Math
Equal Rights Church
Faith Forever
Food Bank Closure
For Your Synths
Friar Thumper
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Godzilla vs God
God’s Billboard
God’s Little Instructions
Golf Prayer
Golfing Nun
Gregorian Monk
Halo to the Holy Dog
He Might Wait A Long Time
How To Make Holy Water
How To Tweet Others
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
In-Spired Safety Tip
Inspiring Funeral Home
Japanese Christmas
Jerusalem Obituary,  33 A.D.
Jesus Drove A Honda
Jesus On The Beach
Jesus Was Here
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Join The Resistance
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Leaving A Good Impression
Letters to God - From Children
Limit Of Two
Miracle Walk
Moldy Bible
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses Inspiration
Moses Parting the Ice Field
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
New Nativity Scene
New School Prayer
No Separation
No Shorts
Noah Called
Notre Dame Fire
Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs
On The Eighth Day
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Orthodox Weapon
Please Help My Car
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer for 2020
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
Rabbi Road
Read The Fine Print
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Religious Nuts
Ruling On Criticism
Snow Prayers
Soul Repair
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Fall Of Adam
The Power Of Faith
The Resurrection
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
The Very First King Size Bed
Trump Cross
Uplifting Church
Vatican Chess
Walkway To Heaven
Wash Away Sins
What Good Shall I Do This Day?
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Yes!
You Turn
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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03-Dec-2020