Thou Shalt Not Park Here
How to rid yourself of problem parkers

The parking lot at the Baptist Church was always full because the members of a Presbyterian Church, one block away, were always using it in spite of being requested many times not to do so.

Finally, the Baptist Church minister had bumper stickers put on all the cars in their lot saying, “I’m proud to be a Baptist”.

There were no more parking problems...


QuotaBills
Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

God is not really silent, we are deaf. - Teresa of Avila

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God. - Thomas Jefferson

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

May your life preach more loudly than your lips. - William E Channing

My poems are hymns of praise to the glory of life. - Edith Sitwell

Love beauty; it is the shadow of God on the universe. - Gabriela Mistral

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it. - Norman MacDonald

Enthusiasm is a kind of faith that has been set afire. - George Matthew Adams

Whatever you don't turn into Praise turns into Pride. - Mark Batterson

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God. - Oswald Chambers

Today's church wants to be raptured from responsibility. - Leonard Ravenhill

There lives more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds. - Alfred Tennyson

I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best. - Walt Whitman

Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

You can have faith or you can have control, but you cannot have both. - Mark Batterson

I had only a little time left and I didn't want to waste it on God. - Albert Camus

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically. - Albert Einstein

If you are not willing to be used by God, ask God to make you willing to be willing. - F.B. Meyer

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

The God who speaks with utmost integrity must have messengers who represent him well. - Haddon W. Robinson

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. - Jane Wagner

Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. - Corrie ten Boom

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart. - Mother Teresa

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid. - Frederick W. Cropp

I know no manner of speaking so offensive as that of giving praise, and closing it with an exception. - Richard Steele

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

God never promises to remove us from our struggles. He does promise, however, to change the way we look at them. - Max Lucado

Human history is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy. - C S Lewis

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. - C S Lewis

God has already arranged a comeback for every setback, a vindication for every wrong, a new beginning for every disappointment. - Joel Osteen

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Prayer and the Bible became a part of my everyday thoughts and beliefs. I learned to put my trust in God and to seek Him as my strength. - Rosa Parks

The tragedy of disbelieving God is not that a person ends up believing in nothing. Alas, it is much worse - a person may end up believing in anything. - G K Chesterton


see also   Religious  Section
Tempting Parking Spot

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
All Dogs Go To Heaven Sign Debate
An Evening Prayer
Are You Ready?
Ark Walk
Atheist Professor
Autographed Copy
Bacon Reasons
Baptised Trespassers
Barn Art
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Bible Bar
Bible Reference
Biblical Humour
Biggest Turkeys
Breakable Postal Package
Cat Hat
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Humour
Church Karma
Church on Wheels
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Communion Wafers
Confession Today
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Devil Sky
Disciple Golf Day
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Easter Math
Equal Rights Church
Faith Forever
Food Bank Closure
For Your Synths
Friar Thumper
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Godzilla vs God
God’s Billboard
God’s Little Instructions
Golf Prayer
Golfing Nun
Gregorian Monk
Halo to the Holy Dog
He Might Wait A Long Time
How To Make Holy Water
How To Tweet Others
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
In-Spired Safety Tip
Inspiring Funeral Home
Japanese Christmas
Jerusalem Obituary,  33 A.D.
Jesus Drove A Honda
Jesus On The Beach
Jesus Was Here
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Join The Resistance
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Leaving A Good Impression
Letters to God - From Children
Limit Of Two
Miracle Walk
Moldy Bible
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses Inspiration
Moses Parting the Ice Field
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
New Nativity Scene
New School Prayer
No Separation
No Shorts
Noah Called
Notre Dame Fire
Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs
On The Eighth Day
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Orthodox Weapon
Please Help My Car
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer for 2020
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
Rabbi Road
Read The Fine Print
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Religious Nuts
Ruling On Criticism
Snow Prayers
Soul Repair
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Fall Of Adam
The Power Of Faith
The Resurrection
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
The Very First King Size Bed
Trump Cross
Uplifting Church
Vatican Chess
Walkway To Heaven
Wash Away Sins
What Good Shall I Do This Day?
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Yes!
You Turn
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles
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25-May-2022