Thou Shalt Not Park Here
How to rid yourself of problem parkers

The parking lot at the Baptist Church was always full because the members of a Presbyterian Church, one block away, were always using it in spite of being requested many times not to do so.

Finally, the Baptist Church minister had bumper stickers put on all the cars in their lot saying, “I’m proud to be a Baptist”.

There were no more parking problems...


QuotaBills
Hell is separation from God. - Billy Graham

Thank God for a few free waves. - Miki Dora

Faith is trust in ultimate meaning. - Viktor Frankl

A puff of wind and popular praise weigh the same. - English Proverb

My poems are hymns of praise to the glory of life. - Edith Sitwell

Not truth, but faith it is that keeps the world alive. - Edna St. Vincent Millay

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. - Saint Francis of Assisi

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God. - Oswald Chambers

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these. - Ovid

God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him. - Jim Elliot

I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best. - Walt Whitman

Fools may our scorn, not envy raise,
For envy is a kind of praise. - John Gay

What praise is more valuable than the praise of an intelligent servant? - Jane Austen

God predestines everything so that the purpose precedes the destination. - Myles Munroe

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth. - Carl Sandburg

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

If you want to be successful, just meditate, man. God will tell you what people need. - Carlos Santana

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart. - Mother Teresa

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration. - William P Young

Don't poets know it better than others? God can't always be everywhere: and, so, invented mothers. - Edwin Arnold

Let nothing disturb thee,
Let nothing affright thee,
All things are passing,
God changeth never. - Teresa of Ávila

I preach as though Christ was crucified yesterday; rose again from the dead today; and is coming back tomorrow. - Martin Luther

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are the same people. - G K Chesterton

Truth cannot be sacrificed at the alter of a pretended tolerance. All religions, plainly and simply, cannot be true. - Ravi Zacharias

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in. - George Washington Carver

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison

Race only matters to a racist. All lives matter. If you have to put a color on it, then you are a racist. God only created one race - the human race. - Tom Wallace


see also   Religious  Section
Tempting Parking Spot

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
All Dogs Go To Heaven Sign Debate
An Evening Prayer
Are You Ready?
Ark Walk
Atheist Professor
Autographed Copy
Bacon Reasons
Baptised Trespassers
Barn Art
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Bible Bar
Bible Reference
Biblical Humour
Biggest Turkeys
Breakable Postal Package
Cat Hat
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Humour
Church Karma
Church on Wheels
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Communion Wafers
Confession Today
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Devil Sky
Disciple Golf Day
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Easter Math
Equal Rights Church
Faith Forever
Food Bank Closure
For Your Synths
Friar Thumper
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Godzilla vs God
God’s Billboard
God’s Little Instructions
Golf Prayer
Golfing Nun
Gregorian Monk
Halo to the Holy Dog
He Might Wait A Long Time
How To Make Holy Water
How To Tweet Others
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
In-Spired Safety Tip
Inspiring Funeral Home
Japanese Christmas
Jerusalem Obituary,  33 A.D.
Jesus Drove A Honda
Jesus On The Beach
Jesus Was Here
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Join The Resistance
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Leaving A Good Impression
Letters to God - From Children
Limit Of Two
Miracle Walk
Moldy Bible
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses Inspiration
Moses Parting the Ice Field
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
New Nativity Scene
New School Prayer
No Separation
No Shorts
Noah Called
Notre Dame Fire
Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs
On The Eighth Day
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Orthodox Weapon
Please Help My Car
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer for 2020
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
Rabbi Road
Read The Fine Print
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Religious Nuts
Ruling On Criticism
Snow Prayers
Soul Repair
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Fall Of Adam
The Power Of Faith
The Resurrection
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
The Very First King Size Bed
Trump Cross
Uplifting Church
Vatican Chess
Walkway To Heaven
Wash Away Sins
What Good Shall I Do This Day?
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Yes!
You Turn
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Music Illusion

New Fuel Gauge

Treescape

Diamond Ring TP

Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia
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13-May-2021