Two fishermen (a Newfie and a Redneck) were swapping lies on their B.C. vacation.
Sheamus told of a tremendous struggle he had with a 250-pound salmon. Bubba listened quietly, and frankly admitted that he’d never caught anything quite that big.
Bubba then told about the time his hook snagged a lantern from the depths of a Mississippi river. The lantern carried a tag proving that it was lost 50 years ago, but the strangest thing of all was that it was a waterproof lantern – and the light was still lit.
For a long time both men sat in silence. Finally, Sheamus took a long draw on his pipe and said, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take 150 pounds off my fish if you’ll put out the light in your lantern.”
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn
Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll
Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali
Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton
At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying
Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb
The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf
A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain
I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields
A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
Fishing is not like billiards, in which it is possible to attain a disgusting perfection. - Arthur Ransome
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry
Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn
Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll
Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali
Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton
At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying
Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb
The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf
A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain
I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields
A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
Fishing is not like billiards, in which it is possible to attain a disgusting perfection. - Arthur Ransome
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry
Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
see also Fishing Section
“2 For 1” Fishing
Cat Fish
Catch of the Day
Catfish Bites Off More Than It Can Chew
CaughtFish
Fish Eyes
Fish Face
Fish Farm
Fishing in Florida
Frozen Fish
Leg Art
Memory Fish
Record State Catfish Catch
Redneck Bass Boat
Redneck Trophy Fish
Siamese Pike Twins
Smoked Fish Poacher
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