Fish Catch Of The Century

Sheamus & Bubba share their best fish yarns


Two fishermen (a Newfie and a Redneck) were swapping lies on their B.C. vacation.

Sheamus told of a tremendous struggle he had with a 250-pound salmon. Bubba listened quietly, and frankly admitted that he’d never caught anything quite that big.

Bubba then told about the time his hook snagged a lantern from the depths of a Mississippi river. The lantern carried a tag proving that it was lost 50 years ago, but the strangest thing of all was that it was a waterproof lantern – and the light was still lit.

For a long time both men sat in silence. Finally, Sheamus took a long draw on his pipe and said, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take 150 pounds off my fish if you’ll put out the light in your lantern.”


QuotaBills
Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell


see also   Fishing  Section
“2 For 1” Fishing
Cat Fish
Catch of the Day
Catfish Bites Off More Than It Can Chew
CaughtFish
Fish Eyes
Fish Face
Fish Farm
Fishing in Florida
Frozen Fish
Leg Art
Memory Fish
Record State Catfish Catch
Redneck Bass Boat
Redneck Trophy Fish
Siamese Pike Twins
Smoked Fish Poacher

 

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish

Hard Working Cop
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24-Jan-2021