Two fishermen (a Newfie and a Redneck) were swapping lies on their B.C. vacation.
Sheamus told of a tremendous struggle he had with a 250-pound salmon. Bubba listened quietly, and frankly admitted that he’d never caught anything quite that big.
Bubba then told about the time his hook snagged a lantern from the depths of a Mississippi river. The lantern carried a tag proving that it was lost 50 years ago, but the strangest thing of all was that it was a waterproof lantern – and the light was still lit.
For a long time both men sat in silence. Finally, Sheamus took a long draw on his pipe and said, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take 150 pounds off my fish if you’ll put out the light in your lantern.”
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker
Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn
Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn
I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem
Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover
At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying
Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf
A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa
It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu
Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle
A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid
There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman
Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn
Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn
I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem
Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover
At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying
Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf
A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa
It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu
Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle
A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid
There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman
Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
see also Fishing Section
“2 For 1” Fishing
Cat Fish
Catch of the Day
Catfish Bites Off More Than It Can Chew
CaughtFish
Fish Eyes
Fish Face
Fish Farm
Fishing in Florida
Frozen Fish
Leg Art
Memory Fish
Record State Catfish Catch
Redneck Bass Boat
Redneck Trophy Fish
Siamese Pike Twins
Smoked Fish Poacher
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