Two fishermen (a Newfie and a Redneck) were swapping lies on their B.C. vacation.
Sheamus told of a tremendous struggle he had with a 250-pound salmon. Bubba listened quietly, and frankly admitted that he’d never caught anything quite that big.
Bubba then told about the time his hook snagged a lantern from the depths of a Mississippi river. The lantern carried a tag proving that it was lost 50 years ago, but the strangest thing of all was that it was a waterproof lantern – and the light was still lit.
For a long time both men sat in silence. Finally, Sheamus took a long draw on his pipe and said, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take 150 pounds off my fish if you’ll put out the light in your lantern.”
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown
There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali
I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem
Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover
The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf
A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields
A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson
Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide
A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright
Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain
Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown
There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali
I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem
Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover
The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf
A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields
A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson
Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide
A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright
Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor
When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain
Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
see also Fishing Section
“2 For 1” Fishing
Cat Fish
Catch of the Day
Catfish Bites Off More Than It Can Chew
CaughtFish
Fish Eyes
Fish Face
Fish Farm
Fishing in Florida
Frozen Fish
Leg Art
Memory Fish
Record State Catfish Catch
Redneck Bass Boat
Redneck Trophy Fish
Siamese Pike Twins
Smoked Fish Poacher
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