A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?”
“That’s your father.”
“Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?”
Asthma: What you do if Dad says no - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
You live as long as you are remembered. - Russian Proverb
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson
Recognize, appreciate and repay your parents' love. - Cheng Yen
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. - The Princess Bride
Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker
Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering
Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin
He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller
Everyone has ancestors and it is only a question of going back far enough to find a good one. - Howard K. Nixon
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown
Until you become a parent, you can't begin to discover your capacity for strength, love and fatigue. - Peter Gallagher
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury
The greatest tribute a boy can give to his father is to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be just like my Dad.' - Billy Graham
The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir
The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard
We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery
Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama
The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles
When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia
A man finds room in the few square inches of the face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
You live as long as you are remembered. - Russian Proverb
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson
Recognize, appreciate and repay your parents' love. - Cheng Yen
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. - The Princess Bride
Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker
Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering
Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin
He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller
Everyone has ancestors and it is only a question of going back far enough to find a good one. - Howard K. Nixon
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown
Until you become a parent, you can't begin to discover your capacity for strength, love and fatigue. - Peter Gallagher
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury
The greatest tribute a boy can give to his father is to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be just like my Dad.' - Billy Graham
The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir
The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard
We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery
Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama
The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles
When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia
A man finds room in the few square inches of the face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde
see also Family & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women
 Elephant Bus |  Redneck Engagement Ring |  Forever Clean Toilet |  Edible Clock |  Up-Set & Hungry Trucks |
 Bear Pinata |  Swim Vacation |  What Are Your Skills? |  Portable Barber Shop |  Snail Trail |
 Anger Release Machine |  Pun-e Signs |  Wake Me At Noon |  Pringle Art |  Lodge Welcome |
25-Jun-2022 |