Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


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24-Oct-2021