Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
see also Medical Section
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14-Aug-2020 |