Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Medical Section
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Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
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Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
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I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
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Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
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Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
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