Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha


see also   Medical  Section
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Costco Whiskey
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Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
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Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
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Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
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Bed Friends
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Breast Cancer Cure
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Flu Fashion
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Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
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Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
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14-Aug-2020