Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift
see also Medical Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly
Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank
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06-Dec-2019 |