Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Pain should not be wasted. - Gerda W Klein

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Where we always start is: What's the user's itch? What's their pain point that occurs frequently enough to build a habit around? - Nir Eyal


see also   Medical  Section
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First Aid Responders
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Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
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Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
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27-Oct-2020