Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain


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03-Aug-2021