Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
see also Medical Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly
Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank
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19-May-2022 |