Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.
Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.
“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.
The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.
“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.
“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana
Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
see also Medical Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly
Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank
 Yoga Pants |  Really Good Day |  Be Someone |  My Time |  Algebra Relationship |
 Mask Shortage |  Exit Not Found |  Early Shave |  Dementia Purse |  Quarantine Response |
 Braided Horse Tail |  Government Debt |  Statue Tug Of War |  Kiosk Hours |  Tight Fit |
 Life Is Beautiful |  Buddha Pear |  Yes! |  Sunday Service Social Distancing |  Mannequin Pointer |
30-Mar-2020 |