Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha


see also   Medical  Section
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Little Drinking Problem
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30-Mar-2020