Great Crab Day

Fishing for a better relationship


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your missing wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens asked with concern.

The troopers looked at each other and then one of them said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?”

The trooper replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”


When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. - Molly McGee

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


see also   Fishing,  Marriage,  Police,  Relationship  &  Stress  Sections
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23-Jul-2021