Great Crab Day

Fishing for a better relationship


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your missing wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens asked with concern.

The troopers looked at each other and then one of them said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?”

The trooper replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”


When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. - Bill Meyer

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


see also   Fishing,  Marriage,  Police,  Relationship  &  Stress  Sections
Scuba Diving Accident

 

Locks Of Love

Redneck Speed Bump

Save A Tree

Baby Papaya Crossing

So You Want A Day Off

Mexico Will Pay For The Wall

Behind Every Man

Truck Driver Birth

Motion Picture Selfie

FearBusters

Holy Day Inn

Fat Friend Prayer

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Nutella Face Lotion

Men in Denim

I Have No Time For Your Kisses, Woman

Here We Goat Again

WatchCat

Disk Drive
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

10-Aug-2020