Great Crab Day

Fishing for a better relationship


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your missing wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens asked with concern.

The troopers looked at each other and then one of them said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?”

The trooper replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”


When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Fishing,  Marriage,  Police,  Relationship  &  Stress  Sections
Scuba Diving Accident

 

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-Jan-2021