The fellow stormed into the postmaster’s office in a fury.
“I’ve been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped.”
“Of course,” said the postmaster. “Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who’s sending them?”
“Yes,” shouted the man. “It’s those idiots down at the Internal Revenue Service.”
My own tax expert, H & R Crock. - Archie Bunker
Expenditure rises to meet income. - Northcote Parkinson
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. - Chris Rock
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. - Douglas Adams
All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis
Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. - Charles Kettering
We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes. - Leona Helmsley
Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell
A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen
'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells
The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes
Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan
Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell
Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt
There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins
Taxes are the dues that we pay for the privilege of membership in an organized society. - Franklin D Roosevelt
Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields
Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev
Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato
I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard
One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump
Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow
Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall
Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman
All progress is based upon a universal, innate desire on the part of every living organism to live beyond its income. - Samuel Butler
On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire
Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes;
The wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Ogden Nash
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers
Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford
Expenditure rises to meet income. - Northcote Parkinson
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. - Chris Rock
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. - Douglas Adams
All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis
Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. - Charles Kettering
We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes. - Leona Helmsley
Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell
A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen
'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells
The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes
Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan
Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell
Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt
There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins
Taxes are the dues that we pay for the privilege of membership in an organized society. - Franklin D Roosevelt
Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields
Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev
Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato
I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard
One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump
Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow
Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall
Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman
All progress is based upon a universal, innate desire on the part of every living organism to live beyond its income. - Samuel Butler
On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire
Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes;
The wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Ogden Nash
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers
Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford
see also Finance, Government & Stress Sections
2012 Tax Return (U.S.)
DiscourageMeant
IRS Custom Tax Thumb Drive
IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener
I.R.S. Humor
Letter to the IRS
New IRS Form
Pay Your Taxes
Revenue Canada Simplified Tax Form
Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation
The Importance of Tax Return Accuracy (U.K.)
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