Perfectly Groomed Love Rug

Driving and shaving don’t mix - unless you’re a Redneck




QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

Two-lane blacktop isn't a highway - it's an attitude. - Unknown

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Concentrate on what you're doing - then you won't have time to tense up and worry. - Unknown

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

You may be right
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. - Billy Joel

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

But the thought of being a lunatic did not greatly trouble him; the horror was that he might also be wrong. - George Orwell

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The Sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I am certain that a Sewing Machine would relieve as much human suffering as a hundred Lunatic Asylums, and possibly a good deal more. - Margaret Atwood

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch in a railroad track ... an inch between a wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity. - Henry Ward Beecher

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. - Oprah Winfrey

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele


see also   Dubm,  Police   &  Redneck  Section
Alberta Hood Ornament
Car Whitewash
Close Call Parking
Drink And Drive Directions
Driving in Bolivia
Driving While Fatigued
Gold Ferrari
I Love Dad
Infringement Notice - New Zealand Cracker
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Love Lost
Motorcycle Enforcement in Japan
New Speed Trap
Not-So-Smart Car
Portable Shower
Redneck Bull-Only Carrier
Reserved for Drunk Drivers
Sans Seatbelt
Scratch-Off Parking Tickets
Shimmy Car-nage
The Perfect Husband
Tie Wrap Bumper
Traffic Jam Intersection
When Not To Stop Too Fast
Where Nobody Speeds

 

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12-Dec-2019