King Of The Jungle

How to tell if you’re-a-lion’ or a lion


A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The trembling monkey said, “You are, mighty lion!”

Later, the lion confronted an ox and fiercely bellowed, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The terrified ox stammered, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggered up to an elephant and roared his challenge.
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatched up the lion with his trunk, slammed him against a tree several times, then stomped him until the lion was flat as a pancake.

Then the elephant took up a trunk-full of water, soaked the lion, and then trumpeted in victory before sauntering away.

The lion let out a moan, lifted his head weakly and hollered, “Just because you don’t know the answer, doesn’t mean you have to get all huffy about it.”




QuotaBills
Life is a zoo in a jungle. - Peter De Vries

Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

I'm the king of the world! - Titanic

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

Never live like a king, and die like a pauper. - Joe Segal

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. - Erasmus

Hunger is felt by a slave and hunger is felt by a king. - Ashanti Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Martin Luther King did not say, 'I have a mission statement.' - Simon Sinek

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

He played the King in the game of life
But someone played the ace. - Gerald Barzan

I ain't Martin Luther King. I don't need a dream. I have a plan. - Spike Lee

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

The ocean, the desert, and the jungle are the last strongholds and resorts of peace. - P C Wren

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. - Laura Swenson

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I'm a games and theory king of guy. I love puzzles, so it was fun dissecting Shakespeare's prose. - Neil Patrick Harris

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

The tiger, he come up with the tigeress. The lion, he come up with the lionette. The zebra, he come up with the zeberelle. - Archie Bunker

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Stew
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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26-May-2022