King Of The Jungle

How to tell if you’re-a-lion’ or a lion


A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The trembling monkey said, “You are, mighty lion!”

Later, the lion confronted an ox and fiercely bellowed, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The terrified ox stammered, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggered up to an elephant and roared his challenge.
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatched up the lion with his trunk, slammed him against a tree several times, then stomped him until the lion was flat as a pancake.

Then the elephant took up a trunk-full of water, soaked the lion, and then trumpeted in victory before sauntering away.

The lion let out a moan, lifted his head weakly and hollered, “Just because you don’t know the answer, doesn’t mean you have to get all huffy about it.”




QuotaBills
Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

When you strike at a king, you must kill him. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

Never live like a king, and die like a pauper. - Joe Segal

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. - Erasmus

Hunger is felt by a slave and hunger is felt by a king. - Ashanti Proverb

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

At the end of the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. - Italian Proverb

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

Martin Luther King took us to the mountaintop; I want to take us to the bank. - Don King

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

My way of joe-king is telling the truth; that is the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

Playing Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king. - Josephine Hull

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. - Niccolo Machiavelli

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I'm a games and theory king of guy. I love puzzles, so it was fun dissecting Shakespeare's prose. - Neil Patrick Harris

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Stew
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

25-Feb-2020