[These are real notes written by parents in an Alabama
school district. Spellings and grammar have been left intact...]
1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear school: please excuse john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and
4. Please excuse Gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a
tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in
the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Leslie from being absent yesterday. She had
dyrea direathe the shits.
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t
know what size
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the
Sunday paper off the
porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend
with the Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not
20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her
brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore
throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot
Polar Bear Attack
Bottom Blast Car Wash
Starbucks Goes Extra Mile
Just One More Glass
His First Hot Rod
Pool Is Closed
Upended Water Buffalo
Do Not Touch Sign
Water Skier A-Head Of His Time
Owlympics Ice Skating
Shining Armor Knight
Smile For The Day