Elephant Circumcision

And you thought you had a tough job – this “tips” them all


Did you hear about the guy who had a job circumsizing elephants?

The pay was lousy but the tips were big.


QuotaBills
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer


see also   Doctor  &  Elephant  Sections
Circumcision
Circumcision Without Paining
Whale Circumcision

 

Invisible Patient

Cellfie

Soccer City

Mom Lookout

Texas Gun Lover

Hi Heel Running Shoes

Salmon Bikini

Mirror Lake

Socialist Job

Graveyard Sundae

Portable Dog Carriers

No More Arguing

Transformers Garage

Soccer Ball Building

Country Office

Lord Of The Rinse

Introvert Soap

No Drowning

Window View

Vanishing Underwater Roller Coaster
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

15-Jun-2021