Elephant Circumcision

And you thought you had a tough job – this “tips” them all


Did you hear about the guy who had a job circumsizing elephants?

The pay was lousy but the tips were big.


QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


see also   Doctor  &  Elephant  Sections
Circumcision
Circumcision Without Paining
Whale Circumcision

 

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26-Feb-2020