Elephant Circumcision

And you thought you had a tough job – this “tips” them all


Did you hear about the guy who had a job circumsizing elephants?

The pay was lousy but the tips were big.


QuotaBills
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield


see also   Doctor  &  Elephant  Sections
Circumcision
Circumcision Without Paining
Whale Circumcision

 

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18-Jan-2021