A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting
for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth
and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”
The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man,
asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”
So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”
The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”
Floss like a boss! - Unknown
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown
For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown
If I'm feeling really wild I don't floss before bedtime. - Judith Viorst
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown
For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
see also Golf Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction
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22-Jan-2021 |