“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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25-Feb-2020