A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting
for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth
and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”
The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man,
asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”
So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”
The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
see also Golf Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction
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01-Jun-2020 |