“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire. - Theodor Adorno

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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01-Jun-2020