A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting
for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth
and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”
The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man,
asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”
So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”
The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”
Floss like a boss! - Unknown
Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. - Kris Kringle
I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown
Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay. - Sallust
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller
My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. - Kris Kringle
I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown
Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay. - Sallust
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl
Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts. - Unknown
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
see also Golf Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction
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