Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”
The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”
The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.
“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”
Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A patient man will ultimately succeed. - Unknown
An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover
Mental Block: A street on which several psychiatrists live - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell
Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller
If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
This yoga should be practiced with firm determination and perseverance, without any mental reservation or doubts. - Bhagavad Gita
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A patient man will ultimately succeed. - Unknown
An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover
Mental Block: A street on which several psychiatrists live - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell
Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller
If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
This yoga should be practiced with firm determination and perseverance, without any mental reservation or doubts. - Bhagavad Gita
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville
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20-Sep-2020 |