Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?” Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya - you'll give him a mental sterosis. - Archie Bunker Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne Believe in the reasonable decency of the brethren; patients are not stolen — they run away. - Martin H. Fischer I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don't give up. - Zig Ziglar Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville see also Hospital & Medical Sections Advantages of Mother’s Milk Audible Sobs Cheat of the Year Children’s Science Exam Answers Colorectal Exam For Dogs Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam Excerpts from Medical Records Failed Logistics Exam Final Exams In North Korea First Proctologist Exam (PG) Gynecologist Exam How To Prevent Cheating Inspiring School Exams Irish Exam Japanese Eye Test Lady’s Yearly Exam Redneck Engineering Exam Seeing End Dog - New Vet Exam Senior Eye Exam University of Georgia Entrance Exam |
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