Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”
The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”
The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.
“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya - you'll give him a mental sterosis. - Archie Bunker
Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Believe in the reasonable decency of the brethren; patients are not stolen — they run away. - Martin H. Fischer
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide
Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don't give up. - Zig Ziglar
Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville
Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Treat the patient, not the X-ray. - James M. Hunter
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya - you'll give him a mental sterosis. - Archie Bunker
Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Believe in the reasonable decency of the brethren; patients are not stolen — they run away. - Martin H. Fischer
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide
Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don't give up. - Zig Ziglar
Nothing has afforded me so convincing a proof of the unity of the Deity as these purely mental conceptions of numerical and mathematical science. - Mary Somerville
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01-Jul-2022 |