Three guys go through an exit interview at a mental hospital. The doctor says he can release them if they can answer the simple mathematical problem: “What is 8 times 5?”
The first patient says, “139.”
The second one says, “Wednesday.”
The third says, “What a stupid question. It’s obvious: The answer is 40.”
The doctor is delighted. He gives the third guy his release. As the man is leaving, the doctor asks how he came up with the correct answer so quickly.
“It was easy, Doc. I just divided Wednesday into 139.”
Nurses are patient people. - Unknown
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
Cut Rates: What surgeons charge their patients. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal
If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Let the young know they will never find a more interesting, more instructive book than the patient himself. - Giorgio Baglivi
Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide
If we begin with certainties, we shall end in doubts; but if we begin with doubts, and we are patient in them, we shall end in certainties. - Francis Bacon
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
Cut Rates: What surgeons charge their patients. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal
If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Let the young know they will never find a more interesting, more instructive book than the patient himself. - Giorgio Baglivi
Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide
If we begin with certainties, we shall end in doubts; but if we begin with doubts, and we are patient in them, we shall end in certainties. - Francis Bacon
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot
see also Hospital & Medical Sections
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Audible Sobs
Cheat of the Year
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Excerpts from Medical Records
Failed Logistics Exam
Final Exams In North Korea
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
Gynecologist Exam
How To Prevent Cheating
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Irish Exam
Japanese Eye Test
Lady’s Yearly Exam
Redneck Engineering Exam
Seeing End Dog - New Vet Exam
Senior Eye Exam
University of Georgia Entrance Exam
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17-Jan-2022 |