Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.
The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey.”
St. Peter said, “Noooooo!” and he banished her to Hell.
The second blonde said, “Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’ birth and exchange gifts.”
St. Peter said, “Noooooo!” and he banished her to Hell.
The third blonde said, “Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ...”
St. Peter said, “Verrrrrry good!”
Then the blonde continued, “Now, every year they roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey.”
St. Peter fainted...
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon
The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown
Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
Q: What do you call a blonde with brains?
A: A labrador. - Lee Mack
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton
Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall
Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen
The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan
For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer
It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen
Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson
Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough
Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz
To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer
The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro
The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown
Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
Q: What do you call a blonde with brains?
A: A labrador. - Lee Mack
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton
Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall
Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen
The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan
For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer
It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen
Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson
Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough
Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz
To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer
The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro
see also Blonde & Heaven Sections
After Easter Bunny
Broken Egg
Bunny Calendar
Chocolate Easter Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Colour Car
Did You Say Happy Easter?
Dying Pope’s Last Request
Easter Bunny’s Hare Spray
Easter Bunny’s Rude Awakening
Easter Bunny Wisdom
Easter Canceled
Easter Car
Easter Cats
Easter Egg Drop-outs
Easter Elephant Eggs
Easter Identity Theft
Easter Sudoku Puzzle
Easter Yolks
Egg Couch
Egg Separator
Egg Walk
Eggs with Eyes
Eggsellent Close Shave
Eggsellent Friends
Firm Egg
Forgotten Easter Eggs
Golfer’s Breakfast
Happy Easter, Big Guy
Happy Keester
Hare Five
Hoppy Easter
How Easter Eggs Are Made
How Many Eggs?
Identity Theft
Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.
Leaving A Good Impression
Missed Palm Sunday
Pine Trees Know When It’s Easter
Purrrfect Disguise
Rabbit or Duck?
Stuffed Bunny
Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law
Texas Easter Bunny
The Rules of Chocolate
The Crucifixion
The Resurrection
What Happened?
What’s In Easter?
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