News from the Iraq Front

Coded message reveals new technology



1. British News From the Iraq Front
“Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton,” UK defense minister Geoff Hoon
said in The Commons yesterday. “He’s either never been to Southampton, or
he’s never been to Umm Qasr” says a British Squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr.
He added: “There’s no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us.
It’s more like Portsmouth.”

2. Coded Message from the Iraq Front
Bush got a coded message from Saddam. It read: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was stumped and sent for the CIA.
The CIA was stumped too, so it went to the NSA.
The NSA couldn’t solve it either, so they asked Bill Clinton.
He suggested turning it upside down…

3. Breaking News from the Iraq Front
Breaking news... Iraq has launched a new type of missile at the Allied Forces
deployed in Kuwait. Details are sketchy at this time, but it appears to be a
new and improved Scud type missile.

Intercepted coded message from Iraq about Eiffel Tower rocket

The CIA is investigating just how and from whom Saddam has
acquired this new technology.

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O. - Martin Mull

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Not all the news that's fit to print is fit to read. - Unknown

Parasites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas more than the actual one. - David LaChapelle

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C Clarke

The Sputnik is just to me like a firework, a rocket, a new invention. - Malcolm Muggeridge

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. - Max Frisch

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

If I had an ego as big as the Eiffel Tower, would I have won this many collective trophies? - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

Years ago, I predicted that Iran would take over Iraq. Iran and Iraq used to fight back and forth. - Donald Trump

In the whole history of technology it would be difficult to find a greater single advance than this. - L.T.C. Rolt

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

The basis of our partnership strategy and our partnership approach: We build the social technology. They provide the music. - Mark Zuckerberg

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

We have a rule that if you check in code, you have to maintain it. So I mostly code on the side. I don't check in code anymore. - Mark Zuckerberg

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology. - Carl Sagan

If one looks at the map of the world, it's difficult to find Iraq, and one would think it rather easy to subdue such a small country. - Vladimir Putin

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

I was never going to be a rocket scientist. But I found the field that I was blessed to be able to do, and I just put my whole effort into that. - Sonny B Williams

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


see also   Army  &  Military  Sections
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27-May-2020