News from the Iraq Front

Coded message reveals new technology



1. British News From the Iraq Front
“Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton,” UK defense minister Geoff Hoon
said in The Commons yesterday. “He’s either never been to Southampton, or
he’s never been to Umm Qasr” says a British Squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr.
He added: “There’s no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us.
It’s more like Portsmouth.”

2. Coded Message from the Iraq Front
Bush got a coded message from Saddam. It read: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was stumped and sent for the CIA.
The CIA was stumped too, so it went to the NSA.
The NSA couldn’t solve it either, so they asked Bill Clinton.
He suggested turning it upside down…

3. Breaking News from the Iraq Front
Breaking news... Iraq has launched a new type of missile at the Allied Forces
deployed in Kuwait. Details are sketchy at this time, but it appears to be a
new and improved Scud type missile.

Intercepted coded message from Iraq about Eiffel Tower rocket

The CIA is investigating just how and from whom Saddam has
acquired this new technology.

QuotaBills
Ethics change with technology. - Larry Niven

The current tax code is a daily mugging. - Ronald Reagan

Technology is teaching us to be human again. - Simon Mainwaring

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Technology is the campfire around which we tell our stories. - Laurie Anderson

I like the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas more than the actual one. - David LaChapelle

All of our technology is completely unnecessary to a happy life. - Tom Hodgkinson

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C Clarke

The art challenges the technology, and the technology inspires the art. - John Lasseter

Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet. - Douglas Adams

All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once. - Bill Watterson

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein

Technology is cool, but you've got to use it as opposed to letting it use you. - Prince

Technology is unlocking the innate compassion we have for our fellow human beings. - Bill Gates

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

This is why I loved technology: if you used it right, it could give you power and privacy. - Cory Doctorow

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

Technology made large populations possible; large populations now make technology indispensable. - Joseph Krutch

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Science and technology revolutionize our lives, but memory, tradition and myth frame our response. - Arthur Schlesinger

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. - Alice Kahn

The ultimate promise of technology is to make us master of a world that we command by the push of a button. - Volker Grassmuck

We've arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology. - Carl Sagan

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

Novels that leave out technology misrepresent life as badly as Victorians misrepresented life by leaving out sex. - Kurt Vonnegut

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

We have a rule that if you check in code, you have to maintain it. So I mostly code on the side. I don't check in code anymore. - Mark Zuckerberg

The march of science and technology does not imply growing intellectual complexity in the lives of most people. It often means the opposite. - Thomas Sowell

The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology. - John Spencer

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

I was never going to be a rocket scientist. But I found the field that I was blessed to be able to do, and I just put my whole effort into that. - Sonny B Williams

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker


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21-Oct-2020