Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, whom they called “Yam”. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally ashed, and get a bad name for herself like “Hot Potato”, and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry, no Spud would
get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato, either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high class Yukon Golds.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho Potato University (IPU) so when she graduated she’d really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn’t possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he’s just a...
Are you ready for this?
Are you sure?
OK! ... Here it is!
Oh graytin potatoes - Archie Bunker
My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins
I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman
A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato - the best part of him is underground. - Henry Cooper
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward
The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury
This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten
Nice Try, Mom
Flight of the Ladybug
Time To Retire
Chess On The Wall
Bad Day Flyer
St. Peter's Fish
Get In Line!
The Wurst Spiral I've Seen
Dead Sea Fish
Jesus On The Beach
NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category