Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Farming is a profession of hope. - Brian Brett

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Educate: To render harmless by cultivation. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead. - George Lucas

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Willingness to be puzzled is a valuable trait to cultivate, from childhood to advanced inquiry. - Noam Chomsky

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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28-Nov-2021