Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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28-Sep-2020