Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is a habit - cultivate it. - Elbert Hubbard

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Educate: To render harmless by cultivation. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead. - George Lucas

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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17-May-2022