Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown

Farmers don't just work til the sun goes down; they work til the job gets done. - Unknown

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Willingness to be puzzled is a valuable trait to cultivate, from childhood to advanced inquiry. - Noam Chomsky

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

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Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

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When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

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Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


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17-Apr-2021