Rooster Retirement

Reaching KFC Heaven


A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business with the chickens.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”

The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens... look at what it did to me!”

The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”

The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon… just let me have the two old hens in the corner. I won’t bother you,”

The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over!”

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”

The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you,”

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck “Go!” and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what’s going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! - he blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.

He shakes his head gloomily and says “Son of a gun... third gay rooster I bought this week!”




QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

Happiness is a habit - cultivate it. - Elbert Hubbard

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt


see also   Farm  Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Prize Rooster
Super Hen

 

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05-Aug-2021