Elephant Heist

A jeweler watched as a huge truck pulled up in front of his store. The back came down and an elephant walked out. It broke one of the windows with its tusk and then, using its trunk like a vacuum cleaner sucked up all of the jewelry. The elephant then got back in the truck and it disappeared out of sight. When the jeweler finally regained his senses he called the police. The detectives came and he told them his story. “Could you describe the elephant?” the cop asked. “An elephant is an elephant,” he replied. “You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. What do you mean ‘describe’ him?” “Well,” said the policeman, “there are two types of elephants, African and Indian. The Indian elephant has smaller ears and is not as large as the African elephant.” “I can’t help you out,” said the frustrated jeweler, “he had a stocking pulled over his head.” QuotaBills Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln My basics are black, white, or neutral, and I'll wear a ton of jewelry or carry a brightly colored bag. - Rachel Zoe My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene see also   Animal  Section African Car Wash Animal Groups Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant Do Not Feed The Animals Downhill Safari Elephant Blues Elephant Breath Elephant Bus Elephant Circumcision Elephant Dung Decorative Paper Elephant Enema Elephant Haircut Elephant Hand Elephant Instructions Elephant Ludo Elephant Nest Elephant Phonics Elephant Soccer Elephant Stew Elephant Sunset Elephant Trampoline Elephant’s Long Memory Herd Mentality Hide & Seek How Many Elephant Legs? Identity Theft IrrElephant Kermit Frog Loan King Of The Jungle Let ’Er Rip Looking For Something? Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All No-Elephant Building Overloaded Pooped Out Playground Potty Training An Elephant Professional Test River Crossing Serengeti Tug of War Stretch Elephants This Is My Road Touching Elephant Story Trunk Sleeper Viagra Elephant Weight Wait When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros Zebra Keyboard   Nice Try, Mom Flight of the Ladybug Time To Retire Chess On The Wall Tree Face Bad Day Flyer Back Bard St. Peter's Fish Feed Me Horse Model Get In Line! Coffee World Horsing Around Think Big The Wurst Spiral I've Seen Grass Leak Dead Sea Fish Jesus On The Beach NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category Moldy Bible

09-Dec-2019