Elephant Heist

Identifying the jewel thief


A jeweler watched as a huge truck pulled up in front of his store. The back came down and an elephant walked out. It broke one of the windows with its tusk and then, using its trunk like a vacuum cleaner sucked up all of the jewelry. The elephant then got back in the truck and it disappeared out of sight.

When the jeweler finally regained his senses he called the police. The detectives came and he told them his story.

“Could you describe the elephant?” the cop asked.

“An elephant is an elephant,” he replied. “You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. What do you mean ‘describe’ him?”

“Well,” said the policeman, “there are two types of elephants, African and Indian. The Indian elephant has smaller ears and is not as large as the African elephant.”

“I can’t help you out,” said the frustrated jeweler, “he had a stocking pulled over his head.”




QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

My basics are black, white, or neutral, and I'll wear a ton of jewelry or carry a brightly colored bag. - Rachel Zoe

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Stew
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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09-Dec-2019