The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

Straight From The Cow

Surf-In Lunch Snack

Lateral Thinking

Da Hood Shirt

Quiet Place To Study

No Beatle Haircuts

Lego Anatomy

His First Hot Rod

Hair Safety

Open Air Reader

Vacation At Last

Cutting Edge Delivery

Sunset Eclipse

Diet Swing

Lamp Escape

Strong Straws

Lucky Spectator

Breadlace

I Think I'll Hold It

Instant Coffee Tragedy
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06-Dec-2019