The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

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29-Jan-2020