The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We don't get fat because we overeat; we overeat because we're getting fat. - Gary Taubes

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

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24-Oct-2020