Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv bena gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker I get mail; therefore I am. - Scott Adams Open your mail over the wastebasket. - Jeff Davidson A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing. - Groucho Marx A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon see also Christmas Section Bird Stocking Christmas Balls Christmas Bro-quet Christmas Budget Christmas Dinner Made Easy Christmas Fireplace Tip Christmas Hedgehog Christmas Light Installation Christmas Pencil Sharpener Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven Christmas Thrones Female Santa Firefighter Decorations Forget The Present Gingerbread Star Wars Walker Heathen’s Greetings Holiday Bike Jingle Cats’ White Christmas Merry House Office Party Grinch Recession Christmas Tree Redneck Christmas Sleigh Reindeer Strike Santa Claws Is Coming To Town Santa Elephant Santa For Kids Santa Stop Lights Santa’s Last Stop For Mexican Food Santa’s Scooter Sleigh Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Save Santa The Trip Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Three Wise Men Three Wise Women Walking In A Doggie Wonderland
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