Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv bena gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker Open your mail over the wastebasket. - Jeff Davidson Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz see also Christmas Section Bird Stocking Christmas Balls Christmas Bro-quet Christmas Budget Christmas Dinner Made Easy Christmas Fireplace Tip Christmas Hedgehog Christmas Light Installation Christmas Pencil Sharpener Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven Christmas Thrones Female Santa Firefighter Decorations Forget The Present Gingerbread Star Wars Walker Heathen’s Greetings Holiday Bike Jingle Cats’ White Christmas Merry House Office Party Grinch Recession Christmas Tree Redneck Christmas Sleigh Reindeer Strike Santa Claws Is Coming To Town Santa Elephant Santa For Kids Santa Stop Lights Santa’s Last Stop For Mexican Food Santa’s Scooter Sleigh Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Save Santa The Trip Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Three Wise Men Three Wise Women Walking In A Doggie Wonderland
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