The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver

Caramels are a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing. - Milton Hershey

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. - Kim Knott

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

To chocolate or not to chocolate... is there any question? - Unknown

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands. - Unknown

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

 

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19-Jun-2021