The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi

Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

To chocolate or not to chocolate... is there any question? - Unknown

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The End. - Unknown

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

It was like having a box of chocolates shut in the bedroom drawer. Until the box was empty it occupied the mind too much. - Graham Greene

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

 

Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot

Wine Bibber

Tylenol Ban

Politician Plane

Seaweed Burger

Louisiana Potholes

Marathon Runner Tip

Spit Priorities

How To Argue With A Woman

Montreal Protest

Suitcase Staycation

Math Lab Bust

Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Girlfriend Math

Shopping With Your Husband
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

12-Aug-2020