The Rules of Chocolate

If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

QuotaBills
I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. - Esi Edugyan

If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. - Kim Knott

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

see also Chocolate Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?

07-Mar-2021