The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Unknown

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

It was like having a box of chocolates shut in the bedroom drawer. Until the box was empty it occupied the mind too much. - Graham Greene

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
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01-Jun-2020