The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I am a chocolatarian. I only eat chocolate. - Unknown

Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

We have chocolate in common - that's enough. - Rachel Hollis

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Unknown

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

Caramels are a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing. - Milton Hershey

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands. - Unknown

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

Chocolate makes otherwise normal people melt into strange states of ecstasy. - John West

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The End. - Unknown

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
Eat Your Vegetables

 

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27-Oct-2020