The Rules of Chocolate

Are you eating too slowly?


If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.


QuotaBills
I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

Chocolate is what I love. I have it every day. - Jennifer Hudson

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

We have chocolate in common - that's enough. - Rachel Hollis

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

It does seem like the chocolate brings good luck. - Lauren Oliver

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. - Kim Knott

Chocolate is nature's way of making up for Mondays. - Unknown

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

When we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes. - Joan Bauer

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands. - Unknown

Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies. - Unknown

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Chocolate is something you take for granted until you don't have any. - Marja McGraw

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Snaccident: Eating an entire pizza, box of chocolates, or family size bag of chips by mistake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


see also   Chocolate  Section
Chocolate Bed
Chocolate Chip Cookies for Engineers & Scientists
Chocolate Couch
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate Math
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28-Sep-2021