Pet Lobsters

Fishing without a license

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day.”

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, “Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water.”

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “What lobsters?”


QuotaBills
The world is your lobster! - Arthur Daley

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

He fishes well who uses a golden hook. - Latin Proverb

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese Proverb

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unabated: 1. A fishhook without a worm; 2. A mousetrap without cheese. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

Grilling outside with my parents at the Jersey shore. We would grill lobster and corn in the summer. - Bobby Flay

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

It is, admittedly, a base foodstuff, but lobster, well prepared, can nevertheless be made to satisfy the distinguished gourmand. - Eli Brown

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

This is the fear that made fish crawl out onto dry land and evolve lungs, the fear that teaches us to run, the fear that makes us bury our dead. - John Green


see also   Fishing  Section
Pet Fish
Pet Fish Chores

 

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10-Aug-2020