Pet Lobsters

Fishing without a license

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day.”

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, “Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water.”

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “What lobsters?”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

The world is your lobster! - Arthur Daley

Debate: What lures de fishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castanet: Primitive fishing method - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bassinet: What every fisherman wants. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Net Worth: Measurement of a fisherman's wealth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unabated: 1. A fishhook without a worm; 2. A mousetrap without cheese. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

We've drifted away from being fishers of men to being keepers of the aquarium. - Paul Harvey

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Unsporting: Any fishing technique that has as its chief object the capture of fish rather than the accumulation of fishing equipment - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Bamboo: Eye-pleasing, but extremely expensive and difficult-to-maintain type of rod, used primarily by anglers who fish for compliments. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


see also   Fishing  Section
Pet Fish
Pet Fish Chores

 

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

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Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork
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26-May-2022