Manpower

Why it's great to be a man


It’s great to be a Man - Because:

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”

One mood, ALL the damn time.

And don’t forget...... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

You never feel the need to wash your underwear out simply because they are slightly soiled. Just throw them in the dirty clothes with everything else.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”

No maxi-pads.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don’t have to shave below your neck.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.




QuotaBills
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts. - John Belushi

I am a chocolatarian. I only eat chocolate. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Chocolate is medicinal. I just did another study that confirms it. - Michelle M. Pillow

I defended the republic in my youth; I will not desert it in old age. - Cicero

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The End. - Unknown

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. - Robert Heinlein

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
2 Carrot Ring
Bluenecks: Revenge of the Rednecks
Redneck Chandelier
Redneck Electric Pool
Redneck Estate Sale
Redneck Spaghetti
Redneck Swing Tree
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Redneck Water Taps
Redneck Whirlpool

A Woman’s Mind
Arkansas Divorce Application
Before The Impact
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Fence Nails
Fliptus
Hormone Guide
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
OCD Ball Pit
OCD Electrician
Old Divorce
Perfect Divorce
Polish Divorce
Redneck Divorce
Texas Divorce
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist
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02-Jul-2022