Manpower

Why it's great to be a man


It’s great to be a Man - Because:

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”

One mood, ALL the damn time.

And don’t forget...... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

You never feel the need to wash your underwear out simply because they are slightly soiled. Just throw them in the dirty clothes with everything else.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”

No maxi-pads.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don’t have to shave below your neck.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.




QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare... neither knew chocolate. - Sandra Boynton

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia. - Unknown

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it. - Robert Heinlein


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26-Feb-2020