Kermit Frog Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.” Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and then disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says: “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral.” She hold up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this?” The bank manager looks back at her and says: “It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.” QuotaBills Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker Curb your fretting, tadpole, or the frog of your future will fail to croak. - Paul Collins I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B. White Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin Motherhood is not for the fainthearted. Frogs, skinned knees and the insults of teenage girls are not meant for the wimpy. - Danielle Steele Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Five, because there's a difference between deciding and doing. - Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt see also   Animal  Section African Car Wash Animal Groups Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant Do Not Feed The Animals Downhill Safari Elephant Blues Elephant Breath Elephant Bus Elephant Circumcision Elephant Dung Decorative Paper Elephant Enema Elephant Haircut Elephant Hand Elephant Heist Elephant Instructions Elephant Ludo Elephant Nest Elephant Phonics Elephant Soccer Elephant Stew Elephant Sunset Elephant Trampoline Elephant’s Long Memory Herd Mentality Hide & Seek How Many Elephant Legs? Identity Theft IrrElephant King Of The Jungle Let ’Er Rip Looking For Something? Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All No-Elephant Building Overloaded Pooped Out Playground Potty Training An Elephant Professional Test River Crossing Serengeti Tug of War Stretch Elephants This Is My Road Touching Elephant Story Trunk Sleeper Viagra Elephant Weight Wait When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros Zebra Keyboard   Whiskey Toothpaste Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene Fake News Steep Steps Better Lawyer 2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3) Snow Detour No Time For This Kwik-Mart Math Croatian Landscaping Best Fairy Tale Back In Five Minutes Winterized Motorcycle If IKEA Ran GM Six Hunnit Different Drugs Extreme Value Spotted Spotters Ant Attack Facebook Closure

26-Feb-2020