A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.
None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.
The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.
The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.
“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”
The law is silent during war. - Cicero
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas
Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken
The ablest lawyers are always associated with the biggest fees. - Clarence Darrow
How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama
Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Lawyers are a bad lot... They cheat their living out of honest people. - Albert R Carman
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan
A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln
As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius
Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem
Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell
The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams
Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas
Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken
The ablest lawyers are always associated with the biggest fees. - Clarence Darrow
How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama
Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Lawyers are a bad lot... They cheat their living out of honest people. - Albert R Carman
I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan
A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln
As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius
Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem
Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell
The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams
Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
see also Coffee & Judge Sections
Justice Is Blind
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25-Nov-2020 |