A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.
None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.
The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.
The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.
“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”
Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow
Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II
To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken
I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge. - Gerald Jampolsky
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski
Lawyers are like the knights of old. You can use them to plunder other people's stuff. - Gene Gordon
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad
Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela
Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein
If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. - Martin Luther King, Jr
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow
Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II
To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken
I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge. - Gerald Jampolsky
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski
Lawyers are like the knights of old. You can use them to plunder other people's stuff. - Gene Gordon
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad
Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela
Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein
If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. - Martin Luther King, Jr
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
see also Coffee & Judge Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
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26-May-2022 |