A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.
None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.
The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.
The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.
“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”
Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick
How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings
What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams
Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster
Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown
Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn
We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli
How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates
Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
The denial of an objective moral law based on the compulsion to deny the existence of God results ultimately in the denial of evil itself. - Ravi Zacharias
Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato
There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick
How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings
What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams
Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster
Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown
Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn
We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli
How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates
Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
The denial of an objective moral law based on the compulsion to deny the existence of God results ultimately in the denial of evil itself. - Ravi Zacharias
Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato
There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
see also Coffee & Judge Sections
Justice Is Blind
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