A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.
None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.
The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.
The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.
“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick
How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying
Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere
Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles
It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad
You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. - John F Kennedy
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli
Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha
The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch
Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda
Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick
How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying
Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere
Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles
It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad
You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - Rhonda Byrne
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. - John F Kennedy
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli
Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha
The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch
Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda
Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda
see also Coffee & Judge Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
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