A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.
None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.
The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.
The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.
“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”
The law is silent during war. - Cicero
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos
Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
see also Coffee & Judge Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
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