A little duck walks into a bar one day. He saunters up to the bartender and asks, “Got any gwapes?
“Nope, sorry,” says the bartender. The duck walks out, disappointed.
The next day, the duck walks into the bar again and asks, “Got any gwapes?”
“I already told you, no, I don’t!” says the bartender angrily. The duck leaves, again disappointed.
The day after that, the duck walks in again and says, “Got any gwapes?”
“No! I do not have any grapes! If you come in here one more time asking for grapes I’ll nail your feet to the floor!”
The next day, the duck waddles into the bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously. “Got any nails?” the duck asks.
“No, why?” the bartender asks.
“Got any gwapes?”
When in doubt, duck. - Malcolm Forbes
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx
see also Bartender Section
Grapeless
Apples and Wine - Picked or Stomped?
Aussie Wine Glass
Cheap Wine Market
Costco Wine
French Red Wine
Fruit Salad Dinner
Glass Prescription
Hammock Wine
Heavy Drinking
If Alcohol Talked
Insect Wine Glass
Jim’s Happy Hour
Men Are Like Fine Wine
Navajo Wine
New Wine For Seniors
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Redneck Wine Dispenser
Redneck Wine Holder
Texas Wine Glass
Walmart’s Redneck Wine
Wine Aerobics
Wine Day
Wine Flowchart
Wine Glass Chair
Wine Glass Lanyard
Wine Pairing in the Stone Age
Wine Secret
Wine Signs
Wine Socks
Wine Therapy
Wine Time
Wine Time Finally
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31-Oct-2020 |