A little duck walks into a bar one day. He saunters up to the bartender and asks, “Got any gwapes?
“Nope, sorry,” says the bartender. The duck walks out, disappointed.
The next day, the duck walks into the bar again and asks, “Got any gwapes?”
“I already told you, no, I don’t!” says the bartender angrily. The duck leaves, again disappointed.
The day after that, the duck walks in again and says, “Got any gwapes?”
“No! I do not have any grapes! If you come in here one more time asking for grapes I’ll nail your feet to the floor!”
The next day, the duck waddles into the bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously. “Got any nails?” the duck asks.
“No, why?” the bartender asks.
“Got any gwapes?”
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb
Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite
The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite
The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
see also Bartender Section
Grapeless
Apples and Wine - Picked or Stomped?
Aussie Wine Glass
Cheap Wine Market
Costco Wine
French Red Wine
Fruit Salad Dinner
Glass Prescription
Hammock Wine
Heavy Drinking
If Alcohol Talked
Insect Wine Glass
Jim’s Happy Hour
Men Are Like Fine Wine
Navajo Wine
New Wine For Seniors
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Redneck Wine Dispenser
Redneck Wine Holder
Texas Wine Glass
Walmart’s Redneck Wine
Wine Aerobics
Wine Day
Wine Flowchart
Wine Glass Chair
Wine Glass Lanyard
Wine Pairing in the Stone Age
Wine Secret
Wine Signs
Wine Socks
Wine Therapy
Wine Time
Wine Time Finally
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16-May-2022 |