A little duck walks into a bar one day. He saunters up to the bartender and asks, “Got any gwapes? Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen see also Bartender Section Grapeless Apples and Wine - Picked or Stomped? Aussie Wine Glass Cheap Wine Market Costco Wine French Red Wine Fruit Salad Dinner Glass Prescription Hammock Wine Heavy Drinking If Alcohol Talked Insect Wine Glass Jim’s Happy Hour Men Are Like Fine Wine Navajo Wine New Wine For Seniors Red Wine Diet Redneck Wine Glass Redneck Wine Dispenser Redneck Wine Holder Texas Wine Glass Walmart’s Redneck Wine Wine Aerobics Wine Day Wine Flowchart Wine Glass Chair Wine Glass Lanyard Wine Pairing in the Stone Age Wine Secret Wine Signs Wine Socks Wine Therapy Wine Time Wine Time Finally |
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