A little duck walks into a bar one day. He saunters up to the bartender and asks, “Got any gwapes?
“Nope, sorry,” says the bartender. The duck walks out, disappointed.
The next day, the duck walks into the bar again and asks, “Got any gwapes?”
“I already told you, no, I don’t!” says the bartender angrily. The duck leaves, again disappointed.
The day after that, the duck walks in again and says, “Got any gwapes?”
“No! I do not have any grapes! If you come in here one more time asking for grapes I’ll nail your feet to the floor!”
The next day, the duck waddles into the bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously. “Got any nails?” the duck asks.
“No, why?” the bartender asks.
“Got any gwapes?”
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood
I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood
I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
see also Bartender Section
Grapeless
Apples and Wine - Picked or Stomped?
Aussie Wine Glass
Cheap Wine Market
Costco Wine
French Red Wine
Fruit Salad Dinner
Glass Prescription
Hammock Wine
Heavy Drinking
If Alcohol Talked
Insect Wine Glass
Jim’s Happy Hour
Men Are Like Fine Wine
Navajo Wine
New Wine For Seniors
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Redneck Wine Dispenser
Redneck Wine Holder
Texas Wine Glass
Walmart’s Redneck Wine
Wine Aerobics
Wine Day
Wine Flowchart
Wine Glass Chair
Wine Glass Lanyard
Wine Pairing in the Stone Age
Wine Secret
Wine Signs
Wine Socks
Wine Therapy
Wine Time
Wine Time Finally
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23-Jan-2021 |