A little duck walks into a bar one day. He saunters up to the bartender and asks, “Got any gwapes?
“Nope, sorry,” says the bartender. The duck walks out, disappointed.
The next day, the duck walks into the bar again and asks, “Got any gwapes?”
“I already told you, no, I don’t!” says the bartender angrily. The duck leaves, again disappointed.
The day after that, the duck walks in again and says, “Got any gwapes?”
“No! I do not have any grapes! If you come in here one more time asking for grapes I’ll nail your feet to the floor!”
The next day, the duck waddles into the bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously. “Got any nails?” the duck asks.
“No, why?” the bartender asks.
“Got any gwapes?”
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson
In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder
Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder
Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
see also Bartender Section
Grapeless
Apples and Wine - Picked or Stomped?
Aussie Wine Glass
Cheap Wine Market
Costco Wine
French Red Wine
Fruit Salad Dinner
Glass Prescription
Hammock Wine
Heavy Drinking
If Alcohol Talked
Insect Wine Glass
Jim’s Happy Hour
Men Are Like Fine Wine
Navajo Wine
New Wine For Seniors
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Redneck Wine Dispenser
Redneck Wine Holder
Texas Wine Glass
Walmart’s Redneck Wine
Wine Aerobics
Wine Day
Wine Flowchart
Wine Glass Chair
Wine Glass Lanyard
Wine Pairing in the Stone Age
Wine Secret
Wine Signs
Wine Socks
Wine Therapy
Wine Time
Wine Time Finally
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27-Oct-2021 |