How Many Elephant Legs?

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

The legs are the wheels of creativity. - Albert Einstein

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands. - Jayne Mansfield

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs. - David Coleman

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs. - Martin Caidin

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class. - David Coleman

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I'm no different from anybody else with two arms, two legs, and forty-two hundred hits. - Pete Rose

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. - Terry Pratchett