How To Cook A Turkey

Don’t forget to set the degree to 375 ovens



Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin


see also   Food  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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05-Mar-2021