How To Cook A Turkey

Don’t forget to set the degree to 375 ovens



Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving. - Jacob Braude

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

Stuff: What people do on Thanksgiving: First to the turkey, and then to themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin


see also   Food  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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06-Jul-2022