How To Cook A Turkey

Don’t forget to set the degree to 375 ovens



Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself o pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 16: Turk the carvey
Step 17: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 19: Bless the saying, pass and eat out



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving. - Jacob Braude

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. - Albert Schweitzer


see also   Food  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

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25-Jan-2022