Constipated Mathematician

Math tip for Bathroom Readers


Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.



QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen

A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


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21-Oct-2021