Coffee And Viagra

Mixed results at the local restaurant


A mature woman goes to the Doctor and asks his help to revive her man’s sex drive.
“What about trying Viagra?” asks the Doctor.
“Not a chance” says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.”

“No problem” replies the Doctor. “Drop it into his coffee, he won’t even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.”

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the Doctor and the Doctor inquires as to how things went.
“Oh it was horrible, just terrible, Doctor.”
“What happened?” asks the Doctor.
“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.”

“What’s terrible?” asked the Doctor. “Was the sex not good?”

“Oh no Doctor, the sex was the best I’ve had in 25 years, but I’ll never be able to show my face in Tim Horton’s again.”


QuotaBills
Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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30-Sep-2020