A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard. Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. - Bill Cosby In heaven there is no beer... That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx The problem of improving literary taste is one for the schools. Soap operas sell lots of soap. - Neil McElroy An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge. - Jerry Seinfeld Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language? One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler see also Bartender & Relationship Sections Annoying Little Bars Of Soap BARF Detergent BassTurd Bathroom Thigns Big John Bounce Bucket Bath Cowboy Bubble Bath Crack In Tower Of Pisa Dog Wallpaper Fairy Soap Free Gas Hand Soap How To Shower - For Women and Men Introvert Soap Kid Disposal Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All Not All Heroes Wear Capes Redneck Doork Redneck Shower Head Reducing Soap Roo Paper Shampoo Warning Stuck Tear-Paper Wall Today’s Bathroom Reader ToileTree TP Kid Wash Away Sins Washing Clothes Recipe When You Gotta Go |
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