Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

Few maxims are true from every point of view. - Marquis de Lac de Clapiers Vauvenargue

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. - Unknown

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - H L Mencken

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

There is no elevator to success - you have to take the stairs. - Unknown

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nature Lover: A person who, when treed by a bear, enjoys the view - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

It is much easier to take care of a sackful of fleas than a woman. - German Proverb

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. - Brendan Francis

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. - Diane Mariechild

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. - Dalai Lama

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A woman described me as a bit of a looker the other day. Well, 'voyeur' was the actual word she used. - Gary Delaney

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

The layman's constitutional view is that what he likes is constitutional and that which he doesn't like is unconstitutional. - Hugo L Black

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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22-Jan-2021