Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Few maxims are true from every point of view. - Marquis de Lac de Clapiers Vauvenargue

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

Every film is a puzzle really, from an editorial point of view. - Walter Murch

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view. - Thomas á Kempis

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

Time To Retire

Chess On The Wall

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Back Bard

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Get In Line!

Coffee World

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The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish
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09-Dec-2019