Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Wisdom requires the long view. - John F. Kennedy

Woman, the most dangerous of playthings. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Never argue with a woman, a winner, or a weapon. - Frank Dane

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - H L Mencken

Youthful Figure: What you get when you ask a woman her age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Masseuse: A woman who doesn't keep her hands to herself - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better. - Ricky Gervais

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Prayer is the act of seeing reality from God's point of view. - Philip Yancey

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

Unicorn: 1. A single blemish on the foot; 2. A horse with a point of view. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

Moving doesn't change who you are. It only changes the view outside your window. - Rachel Hollis

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out. - John Fugelsang

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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09-Dec-2021