Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Never argue with a woman, a winner, or a weapon. - Frank Dane

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

Birthquake: A woman's contractions during labor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always have an optimistic view, no matter what it is. - Stephen Curry

It is sweet to view the sea when standing on the shore. - Archippus

There is no elevator to success - you have to take the stairs. - Unknown

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Nature Lover: A person who, when treed by a bear, enjoys the view - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things. - Epictetus

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Glamour: The capacity of a woman to get more out of a dress than she puts into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out. - John Fugelsang

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

Photo Scratch

Yoda-Churchill

Cup of Mona Lisa

Bar Walker

Olympic Moon Rings

BTTF II Car

Pool Garden

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Wait For My Human

China Road Load

Burger King Street

Taking The Bait

Redneck Tailgate

Horse Model

What Has America Become?
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

31-Jul-2021