Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

When the devil finds a lazy woman, he puts her to work. - Russian Proverb

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

Every film is a puzzle really, from an editorial point of view. - Walter Murch

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Ugliness is a point of view; an ulcer is wonderful to a pathologist. - Austin O'Malley

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Flirt: 1. A girl who got the boy you wanted; 2. A woman who believes it's every man for herself. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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13-Jul-2020