Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

When the devil finds a lazy woman, he puts her to work. - Russian Proverb

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Every film is a puzzle really, from an editorial point of view. - Walter Murch

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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22-Jan-2020