An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”
“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”
“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”
“He said the reflector is broken.”
“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”
“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown
Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb
I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus
Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson
In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker
Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost
To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown
Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb
I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus
Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson
In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker
Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost
To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
see also Amish, Horse & Mechanic Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts
 Bag Hang-Up |  Dog Spa |  Pacman Skeleton |  Young Rock Star |  Shoplifter Warning |
 Eavestrough Cat |  Bobbie Tickle |  Exhausting or Amewzing? |  World's First Hard Hat |  Cup on the Edge |
 British Gas Meter |  Hot Summer Days |  Senior Protesters |  Microsoft Software Upgrade |  Mow Your Lawn |
 Drinking Alone |  being Fearless |  Bible Bar |  A Good Woman |  Tunnel Face |
13-Jul-2020 |