Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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22-Jan-2020