An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”
“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”
“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”
“He said the reflector is broken.”
“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”
“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb
You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci
To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel
We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong
The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb
You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci
To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel
We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong
The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour
see also Amish, Horse & Mechanic Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts
 'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards |  Leaf Edge |  Windmill Guitar |  Redneck Shave |  Coffee Grinds |
 Legal Exhibit |  Cattle Breeding |  Study to Fail |  Light Bulb |  Lifeguard Distancing |
 Giant Grasshopper |  Horse Hearse |  Train Boat |  Yarn Bombing a Bus |  Canned Art |
 Bubble Boy |  High Wire Bear Feeder |  Manitoba Thunderstorm |  Watermelon Shark |  Curses, Foiled Again |
07-Jul-2020 |