Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Giftedness is your accelerator; wisdom is your brake. - Gerald Brooks

An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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14-May-2021