An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”
“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”
“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”
“He said the reflector is broken.”
“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”
“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi
Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers
The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi
Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers
The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour
see also Amish, Horse & Mechanic Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts
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22-Jan-2020 |