Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Reindeer: A horse with a hat rack - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Installment: Putting a horse in his stall - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Sherbet: 1. A horse that can't lose; 2. A tip on a horse race or sporting event. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts

 

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special

Engine-eous

Real Life Photoshop

Future Truck

Fill The Tank

Corset Bound

Hillbilly Overalls

Fitness On The Bus

The Original Smart Phone

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

You're CuTe

Internet - The Place 2B

Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

28-Nov-2021