An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”
“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”
“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”
“He said the reflector is broken.”
“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”
“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte
A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker
Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci
Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha
Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan
Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie
Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi
Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte
A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb
All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong
The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt
A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker
Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci
Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha
Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan
Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie
Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
see also Amish, Horse & Mechanic Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts
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18-Jan-2021 |