Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts

 

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Redneck Shave

Coffee Grinds

Legal Exhibit

Cattle Breeding

Study to Fail

Light Bulb

Lifeguard Distancing

Giant Grasshopper

Horse Hearse

Train Boat

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Canned Art

Bubble Boy

High Wire Bear Feeder

Manitoba Thunderstorm

Watermelon Shark

Curses, Foiled Again
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07-Jul-2020