Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
Mayor: A he-horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Reindeer: A horse with a hat rack - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Installment: Putting a horse in his stall - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Absent-Mindedness: Searching for the horse you are riding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Sherbet: 1. A horse that can't lose; 2. A tip on a horse race or sporting event. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Fire Truck Parts

 

Redneck Faucet

Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor

Ancient Shiloh

British Accountant

Ruling On Criticism

Going Into Space

Domino's Delivers Everywhere

Lord of the Wings

Crossed Wires

Monday Lisa

Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

02-Aug-2021