911 Emergency

When a blonde needs emergency treatment

Phone problems when it matters most


Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available in her town, an elderly and quite ill blonde lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.

The horrified nurse said, “Why didn’t you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?”

The lady said, “My phone doesn’t have an eleven.”


QuotaBills
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Habits are the nursery of errors. - Victor Hugo

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never mistake endurance for hospitality. - Unknown

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

I thought of Shelley in the hospital, how she said sometimes sadness only looked like anger and judgment. Maybe fear did too. - Holly Cupala

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


see also   Blonde,  Emergency  &  Telephone  Sections
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26-Nov-2020