Redneck End Table  (4.8M)

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Keep calm and run the table. - Unknown

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses. - Archie Bunker

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

It's easy to make your choice when all the cards are on the table. - Barry Bennett

Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops. - Groucho Marx

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak