17 Remain Dead In Morgue Shooting Spree - The News & Observer
A heavy pall of lust covered the upper two-thirds of Texas last night and was expected to drift south-east over the state by morning. - Yankton Press
Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply For Job In Braille. - The Herald
Airline Travel Safer Despite More Accidents. - Reuters
All Utah Condemned To Face Firing Squad. - Washington Post
Alton Attorney Accidently Sues Himself - The Madison St. Claire Record
Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire - New York Times
Arthur Kitchener was seriously burned Saturday afternoon when he came in contact with a high voltage wife. - Surrey News
Astronomers Say Comet Should Be Visible To The Naked Idaho. - Los Angeles Examiner
Athlete Who Cheated Death Dies - AOL News
Ban On Runny Yolks Not Going Over Easy - Spartanburg Herald-Journal
Bill Would Exempt Minors From Death - Goldsboro News Argus
Birds Make Mess, City Steps In - Colorado Springs Gazette
Births To High School Girls Fall To Record Low - CNN
Blind Man Says Diana Prettiest Woman He Ever Saw - Reuters
Brain Removal Study Finds Few Volunteers - Kenosha News
Britain Inches Grudgingly Toward Metric System - Reuters
Bush Favors His Own Program - Newsweek
Committee Names Committee - Reuters
Community Bands Together To Help Burn Victim’s Family - Bay City Times
Cost Of Being Poor Rising - Denver Post
Country Invited To Waste Day Planning Meeting - Oceana’s Herald-Journal
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide - Monterey Herald Sun
Crashed Jet May Have Flown Too Low - AP
Creech Airman Beating Victim - Las Vegas Review Journal
Dead Man Ignored Police Order - Arizona Republic
Death Doesn’t Deter Students From Drinking - The Roanoke Times
Divorces Are Fewer Among Single People, Chicago Figures Show - Chicago Tribune
Doctor Execution Policy Debated - AP
Double-Hand Transplant Patient Applauds Operation - Reuters
Drunks Get Nine Months In Violin Case - Monterey Herald Sun
Ernie Pyle Died 50 Years Ago - AP
Family Can Be Close While Apart - Richardson News
Fatal Mudslide Blamed On Hill - Associated Press
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons - Tulsa World
Fireworks To Be Aired On Radio - Orlando Sentinel
Fitness Club Closes, Going Belly Up - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Florida May Need Disabled Voter Machines - AP
Florida Wants Coach With An Offensive Mind - Florida Times-Union
For cockroaches do not use sodium fluoride, as children or cherished pets may eat the sodium fluoride instead of the cockroaches. - Ludlow Tribune
For Now, There’s No End Insight - Dallas Morning News
For Sale. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. - Advertisement
For sale. Lovely rosewood piano. Owner going abroad with beautiful twisted legs. - North Wales Advertiser
Ford Contour Sales Slow To Accelerate - GM International Newsline
French Police Suspect Nudist Site Has Solmething To Hide - AFP
Frying Squirrel Blamed For Sunday Power Outage - Muskegan Chronicle
Funeral Home Head Finds Live Body - AP
Gays In Roanoke Recover After Slaying - AP
Giant Replica Of Anal Lock Makes Striking Feature At Chelsea Flower Show - Daily Telegraph
Head of Anti-Violence Group Arrested for Hitting Referee - AP
Health Department Wants Mayor’s Ear - Desert Morning News
Heat Wave Claims Frostbite Victim - Reuters
Herndon Area - Your Cardiac Risk - GM News
Hooked On Internet? Help Is Just A Click Away! - Reuters
If the motion were passed, no strike action would be taken by NALGO without a ballet of all its members. - Bristol Evening Post
Illiteracy Is Still A Poblem Among Mississippi Adults - Hendersonville (NC) Times-News
Illiterate? Write today for free help. - Advertisement
Indian Plane Reported Hijacked By Authorities - Reuters
Inmate Missing After Escaping Via Mail Slot - Lexington Herald
Invisible Man Disappears From View - Reuters
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms - Monterey Herald Sun
Italian Plane Passengers See Flames, Vote To Land - Reuters
Japan, Russia Still Far Apart On Islands - Reuters
Lack Of Brains Hinders Research - Columbus Dispatch
Laura Chick Accuses Some Of Her Male Colleagues Of Sexism - Los Angeles Times
Lawyers Weigh O.J. Witnesses - AP
Life Goes On Year After Deaths - Richardson News
Lost Portrait Of Czar Shown - AP
Male Infertility Can Be Passed On To Children - Reuters
Man, honest. Will take anything. - Advertisement
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge - Monterey Herald Sun
Maybe Error Led To Crash - AP
Mercury Plunges To Bone-Chilling 68 - Dallas Morning News
Mike McGrew, deputy US marshal in Oklahoma City has carried his son’s first baby as a good luck charm for thirteen years. He has had it hanging on the rear-view mirror of four automobiles and, during the war, kept it it in the socks of his Army uniform. - New Jersey newspaper
Moron Arrested After Driving Truck Into House - Fox 4 News
National Slacker Day May Be Too Much Effort - Reuters
New Yorker Finds Roommate Dead, Second Time In A Year - AP
Officials Consider Bridge Suicide - UPI
Oil Barge Breaks Off Texas - AP
One-Armed Man Applauds The Kindness Of Strangers - Tulsa World
One In Three British Men Ready To Give Birth - Reuters
Ottawa May Tackle Homeless - Toronto Star
Paleontologist Wants Students To Dig Up Dirt On Prehistory - Washington Post
Parking Lot Floods When Man Bursts - Durham Herald-Sun
PARKYNS - to the memory of Mr. Parkyns, passed away September 12. Peace at last. From all the neighbours of Princess Avenue. - Leicester Mercury
Peanut butter grilled corn - spread ears lightly with peanut butter. Wrap each ear with bacon slice; fasten wth toothpick. Place on grill, turning until done - about 10 minutes. Or let everyone grill his own ears, using long skewers to do so. - The American Weekly
Priest In Fatal Crash Improves - Lakeland Ledger
Prostitutes Appeal To Pope - Monterey Herald Sun
Quintuplets Born 15 Months Early - Dateline Moorhead, Minnesota
Rape - The New Way To Defend Yourself - Ladies Home Journal
Save regularly in our bank. You’ll never reget it. - Advertisement
Shooting Suspect Said Hot-Tempered - AP
SLEEP WELL - For the Rest of Your Life! - Prevention Magazine
Spaniard Dies After Fall From Ferry To Britain - Reuters
Spaniard Hits Girlfriend At Anti-Violence Rally - Reuters
Terror Leader In Iraq Declares War On Tape - AP
The accident occuured at Hillcrest Drive and Santa Barbara Avenue as the dead man was crossing the intersection. - Los Angeles Times
The bride was gowned in white silk and lace. The colour scheme of the bridesmaids’ gowns and flowers was punk. - Toronto Post
The landlord insisted that no female should be allowed in the bra without a man. - Glasgow Herald
The murder of the man and the finding of the body was followed by a series of tragedies, including the suicide of the murdered man. - Boston Post
The season for grass fires seems to have arrived, so stamp out that cigarette-end before you throw it down. - Herne Bay Press
This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes & Gardens. - Advertisement
Today’s weather: A depression will mope across Southern England - The Guardian
Two men were admitted to hospital suffering from mild buns. - Essex Chronicle
Unless the teachers receive a higher salary increase they may decide to leave their pests. - The Times
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. - Advertisement
We apologize for the error in last week’s paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold was a defective in the police force. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr. Arnold is a detective in the police farce, and we are sorry for any embarrassment caused. - Ely Standard
Woman Sues Caterpillar For Sexual Harrassment - UPI
Wrap poison bottles in sandpaper and fasten with scotch tape or a rubber band. If there are children in the house, lock them in a small metal box. - Philadelphia Record
see also
Language & Phrase Sections
Engrish
Flubbed Headlines
Headline Stories
Hyphenated Names
Newspaper Bloopers
Resumé Bloopers
Sewing Machine For Sale - Cheap Love Not Included
Why iPad Won’t Replace a Newspaper
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