#1 humor site on the 'net

Snoop Dog

Celebrity dog rapper with great vision

Snoop Dog thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

If you think you have influence, try ordering some else's dog around. - Amish Saying

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year