#1 humor site on the 'net

Ridin' With Biden

Running the country is like riding a bike

Ridin' With Biden thanks to Robert Malone

Ridin' With Biden thanks to Robert Malone

Ridin' With Biden thanks to Robert Malone

Ridin' With Biden thanks to Robert Malone

QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Trust is central to an economy that works. - Stephen Covey

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle

Freedom (n.): To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing. - Ayn Rand

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. - Kin Hubbard

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

We are living in the excesses of freedom. Just take a look at 42nd Street and Broadway. - Will Durant

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gorilla tourism is vital to Rwanda's economy: It's the third highest source of income. - Andy Serkis

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one. - Thomas Paine

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

I can remember when Democrats believed that it was the duty of America to fight for freedom over tyranny. - Zell Miller

Loving someone is a loss of freedom - but one doesn't think of it as loss because one gains so much else. - Erica Jong

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. - Benjamin Franklin

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

Posterity! You will never know how much it cost the present generation to preserve your freedom! I hope you will make a good use of it. - John Adams

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

In politics, as in womanizing, failure is decisive. It sheds its retrospective gloom on earlier endeavor which at the time seemed full of promise. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe

Hummers Only Look Tough

Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection